“Grace means that all your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.” Brene Brown
In America, the idea of making a mistake is frowned upon. We are a society that celebrates the strong, beautiful and perfect. Winning is the object of this game we call life, and shame on you if you can’t handle it, or don’t emerge a victor.
We tend to focus on outcomes rather than the process, and appearances rather than the real story. But we have it absolutely backwards because it’s the process that teaches us who we are and the mistakes and the messiness (the real story) that show us who we want to be.
Life is a process, not an outcome. It’s a process of falling down, figuring out what isn’t working and trying something new. The awesome thing about humans is that we have the ability to reflect and learn. If our actions are hurting us, or those around us, at some point we realize it and attempt to correct our course. We learn from what is painful and destructive, and choose a different approach.
When we make mistakes, we have two options: to experience shame, or to learn and grow. Shame is a silent, ever-present companion that squashes all expectations of something better. It talks you into existing rather than living because it tells you that’s all you deserve. It gives you the identity of “failure” or “addict” or “lost cause,” and you accept it, all the while stuck in the comfortable, safe, and convenient mess you’ve made because you don’t know any different. Shame thrives in darkness, and tells you your mistakes are “the real story.” Shame is a liar.
Thank God for the truth. Yes God, our creator and author of the real story, wants nothing more than to extend His hand and pull us out of the mess that is our lives. He sees your mess, but He also knows your truth, and He wants you to see it too.
You see, the real story isn’t about failures or appearances. It isn’t about being successful and not messing up. It isn’t about winning. It’s about learning. And through grace, He gives us the ability to climb out of the mess using the pain, experiences, and lessons of our past as stepping stones.
Once we have a new vantage point from which to view the story of our lives, we can see how it all makes sense, how everything serves a purpose and works together to form the bigger picture. How the liar is shame, and the truth is grace.
And by extending grace to each one of us, He is offering us the chance to learn and grow instead of staying stuck and stagnant. Our mistakes become purpose, and our shame shrinks into the darkness. Grace always wins, and it is free for the taking. Claim it, and use it to write the real story.
We are always learning and always growing!