Scarcity or Abundance: You decide.

Anyone who feels led, or perhaps forced, to make a lifestyle change has the opportunity to choose their perspective. Do we want to spend the remainder of our lives putting in time and feeling left out or deprived? Or, do we set out on a journey to let our downfall transform our path into something precious and abundant? Your past may have dictated your current situation, but it is up to you if you want let it defeat you, or set the stage for victory.

I’ve written before about sobriety being a mindset, but that is because it’s so important to me to emphasize to everyone who reads my words that they have a choice. An important choice that will shape the arc of your future and dictate how you spend your days. People in sobriety come from all different backgrounds, cultures, circumstances and beliefs, but every person on this journey has the choice to view their lives as an opportunity or a sentence. A choice to live in scarcity or abundance.

Just as everyone comes to sobriety from different backgrounds, we also all have varying reasons for being here. What was your breaking point? Your rock bottom? A realization? Flashing lights? A slammed door? A lapse? A goodbye? A call that was too close? A death sentence? Whatever it was, welcome. Make yourself at home. And make a choice.

Some people feel forced to join the sober ranks because if they don’t, they’ll die. That takes away a lot of the gray area most people grapple with. It’s a black and white answer. But when given this answer, they treat it as a sentence, instead of a ticket to freedom. They count days, and every day, remember who they are and what they can’t have. Their focus is on going without.

I’m here to tell you that your focus can (and should) be on what you’ve been given, not what has been taken away. What you have been given is an opportunity to live in fullness, in abundance. A chance to participate and engage in the ebb and flow of life rather than be dragged and tossed about by the waves. A choice to live rather than exist.

We all have in common the fact that, on some level, we let it get too far. It may have been a subtle shift or it may have been being thrown face first into a brick wall. But we’re here. Is it a beautiful opportunity or a desolate desert? Your perception creates your reality.

It may take some time to get your bearings. It took a long time to get here, so it might well be awhile before you feel at home. I’ve been on this journey for 5 years (the last two years being continuous) and I finally feel like I can say, in all honesty, I am thankful that my past has led me here.

Here being a place of abundance and wellness and peace. Here being my reality and a reality that I am grateful for. I want to share with you some practices I have discovered along the way, that have brought me to this place, in case you want to be here too.

Practices for Living in Abundance

• Mindset. What this post is about, cannot be overstated. We all want to romanticize that first drink, but what about the one after that, and the next? Is it fair to ourselves to be stuck pining away over a misrepresented experience? We create our reality and by calling it what it was, we can be true to ourselves. Mindset applies to our past (romanticizing) and our future (deprivation or abundance). Is our life ahead full of opportunities to be free and at peace, or full of lack and burden? We get to decide. Each day, we decide.
• Surrender. While we get to decide our perceptions and how we view our lives, we must also recognize what to let go of. Letting go of what happened and why, for instance. Letting go of guilt and remorse about the past and unrealistic expectations about the future. Acknowledging that something powerful overtook our lives for a time (a long time?) but that something even more powerful can help we are willing to let go.
• Gratitude. Gratitude is not a response to abundance, but what shows up when we become aware of the abundance in our lives. We’re here. We’ve been given a second, or third, or fourth chance and it feels like it is finally sticking. We notice the beauty and blessings that we were too imprisoned to notice before. A healed relationship. Flowers bursting through the firm earth. A real conversation. A diminutive butterfly meandering through the garden. All perfect, in their own way, as we realize perfection does not mean flawless.
• Passion. What we were all given, and then lost along the way. When the fog lifts, we look around and recall what it is we loved about being here. What would you do for free? When does time stand still? Maybe we have yet to find it and it’s waiting patiently. Be open to remembering and discovering what makes your heart sing. Abundance makes your heart swell and overflow with song. Deprivation shrivels and silences it. Find and nurture your passions.
• Presence. When you’re here, be here. We now have the chance to absorb our surroundings and be bathed in the moment. Before there was only feeling bad and not feeling. Now, we feel, we connect, we love and feel love. Presence is the awareness of abundance. Hearing your child sing. Laughing with someone you love. Feeling a warm, heartfelt embrace. Smelling freshly baked cookies. Watching children hunt for Easter eggs. Tasting a meal cooked with love and care. Basking in the presence of love and light. In being here.
• Learning. The broad category is learning, but under its umbrella lies connecting, exploring, understanding, enriching and discovering. We are given the gift of time now that we aren’t wasting away, and what better way to spend it than reading, blogging, commenting, sharing, communicating and connecting? What can you learn today? What beautiful words can you stumble upon that speak to you? What connection can you make so you don’t feel so alone? How can you expand your horizons? What is something new you can try to add to your repertoire?
• Service. To experience abundance you must give it away. We have survived much, and probably lost much along the way. What we have gained though, must be shared. Who or what speaks to your heart? Whispers for help? Reminds you of struggles you have overcome? What can you do to bless others that will also cause an overflow of abundance in your own life? What thing will someone else remember you for and be inspired to pass on? When you’ve fallen in a pit, you want to give others a hand up. Serving equals love given away, and love received plus interest.
• Wellness. Again a broader category, with practices under it such as: healthy eating, exercise, self-care, morning quiet time, meditation, quality sleep, therapy, journaling, decluttering and simplifying. Attention should rest on actionable steps we can take to enhance our health and wellness. These actionable steps should be consistent and routine. Whereas before, our illness was our priority, now it needs to be wellness. Wellness does not live in deprivation, but it thrives in abundance.
• Nature. Nothing helps us connect with our creator than creation. The sights, sounds, smells, and textures of nature ground us in the present and urge us commune with something greater. Something exquisite and awe-inspiring and humbling. Something that makes us feel so big, and so small at the very same time. Nature reminds us that everything has an order, a purpose, and a perfect design. Even us. And that our imperfect path has been part of the overall design all along. Nature is full of power and abundance. Even in devastation and destruction, new life springs forth. Nature holds up a mirror for us to see our own pattern of ashes and beauty. Always a new canvas to create our ever-evolving masterpiece.

These are practices and places that lead me here, every day. To a place of abundance. A place I choose to live. I hope that the life you create is one of fullness, even if it feels scarce or scary at first. It is not a cure-all or a promise of eternal happiness, but it is a place of peace. A place to start, and remain. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life thinking of what you lack; you can spend it appreciating all is yours.