I felt like March would be a month of milestones, celebrating transformations and homecomings. I hit my one-year sober milestone, was feeling good about my health journey and anticipating the return of my husband from his deployment. What I didn’t anticipate was the extra stretching and strain I would endure, like a rubber band that you pull and hope won’t snap.
Life as we know it is on hold, and the former busy-ness packed into my average day has turned into a lot of time to fill as I see fit. My identity as a teacher, mom-taxi and kids’ sports fan has ground to a halt. My identity as a wife waiting on her husband to come home has been extended a little further into this uncertain future.
I am trying to maintain a sense of normalcy, but the problem is that my life wasn’t normal when this pandemic arrived. I am on a 30-day elimination diet, Whole30, and determined to see it through despite my craving for comfort food, aka, junk food. There were still boxes of Brownie in a Mug on the shelves at the store…I sighed and moved on.
I’ve suddenly got a lot more time on my hands to wander by my kitchen pantry (where the kids’ snacks still live), think about being hungry, and cook stuff I can’t eat for the family. Grilled cheese sandwiches never smelled so good. I have until April 6 (but who’s counting) and I’m already growing tired of piles of vegetables, eggs, and meat with every meal. This is only a test…
Earlier in the week, I noticed a spring in my step because the weather was sunny, the days were longer and my husband is coming home! Now, he’s supposed to be coming home but it keeps being pushed back, and a quarantine for military coming home from the Middle East after five months there seems very, very likely. Not having him here during this crazy time is unsettling. Not working or socializing is making my loneliness lonelier. This is only a test…
There are so many stories circulating about cancelled plans, hopes and dreams. Of fear getting the upper hand. Also, stories of help, hope and love getting the upper hand. We are human, with the capacity to be awesome or evil.
This is a test for all of us. We all have different challenges and obstacles to face. I think of my students in their homes, without the resources I take for granted. Of elderly people afraid to leave their homes and not able to get what they need when they do. Small business owners who face losing their livelihoods. Cancelled weddings and funerals, sports seasons and gatherings that are essential to people’s well being. People with compromised immune systems who now have to live in fear.
And I know my situation, while inconvenient to my stomach, my heart and my sulky brain, is stretching me but I’m far from breaking. I know I’m not going to drink in an attempt to ease the discomfort as I would have given myself permission to do had this happened last year. And I know, as do all sober people, that difficulty refines us and molds us into something beautiful. That strength comes from trials.
So while I appreciate the liberty of being able to complain, I know I need to shift my focus to the question, “What will help?” Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
What will help?
- Calling my parents and other older people I know to connect with them and share anecdotes about my kids. Also, to offer to shop or run other errands for them.
- Exercise daily (got to get those endorphins somehow) and creatively. Online yoga with the kids (thanks, Julie Krupp). Family dog walks. Sit-up/Push-up contests with my teenage boys. Dance parties.
- Continued prayer and meditation. Although I’m not in control, Someone is, and chaos will not reign.
- Reading uplifting or inspirational literature, information and stories of strength.
- Snuggling with my dog. Enough said.
- Taking it one day at a time. It won’t be like this forever. Use this time to be present and love those around you.
What other things can you think of that would help? I’d love to hear from you!
Sending you a big hug 🤗 this one is something we are all connected by now. I put up a post the other day on my community FB page saying if anyone in my community is having to self isolate and needs anything I’m happy to help. There are a lot of elderly in my community so I think it’s important that we reach out to one another.
Something totally unrelated I Love 💕 your dog, I used to have a Westie and they are so awesome. He was selective in when he would give cuddles as well 😂 he would always allow them but not necessarily always want them. Take care, I’m sorry about the delay in getting your husband home.
Glad you’re reaching out and helping where you can! That’s important for your mental wellbeing as well. I love Westies!! She’s my first but I keep telling my husband that someday I want a Westie farm. 🤣 Can’t you see them all frolicking around on green rolling hills? Stay well. 💕 xx
I would love another one and maybe one day but they are selling for between $2-3 thousand each over here.
Oh wow! Maybe not THAT cute 🤣💕
I love the part about calling parents and the elderly as well as helping them. See these are things that slip right by me sometimes. There are probably so many ways to help those who have a harder time right now. Such a great post Collette. Like you mentioned in diet alterations it’s easy to have it consume you. I know that for sure! Anyway you’ve given me something to think about!
Thank you Janet. Just trying to find the good… 💕
it’s good to see you getting through this with resilience and a positive attitude. I just deactivated on FB because i couldn’t take any more and i know many who have..too much domino panicking..i am a nurse so i am on the front lines everyday and have been thru every virus thats comes down the pike for the last 2 decades. This reaction is bizarre. Only time will tell what the total outcomes will be – ecumenically, financially and other wise…But one thing i know as today they closed all the liquor stores here- i have one more reason to be glad i’m sober!!
hugs!!
Lovie, I should have included medical professionals where I wrote about people being stretched. It must take courage and dedication to put other people’s wellness before your own. I agree that it is bizarre though. I guess all these measures are preventative, and hopefully we end up being glad they paid off. But it’s crazy to witness the disruption of normalcy and the economic impact this is causing. Stay safe and well. 💕 Xx
Those all sounds like great strategies to me. Where I live, we are now, basically, in lockdown. Unable to leave the house except for basic necessities. Reach out when you are lonely! We will be here. I’m so sorry to hear your husband’s delayed return. That sounds so very disappointing. I continue to be inspired by your strength and love for yourself and others, Collette! Big hugs!
Thank you, Leafy. I’m so grateful to have this blogging community to share support, and bitch a little. 🤪 In all seriousness, it’s awesome that we can lift each other up! 💕Xx
Bitching is fine, too! 🙂
Hey Collette, I’m so sorry you still don’t know when your husband is coming home. I think at times like this we naturally want our loved ones close. It’s such an unsettling time and my heart goes out to so many people on so many levels. Being present seems to be really important if we can do it. Not looking too far forward. Kindness, understanding and compassion are essential right now. To ourselves and others. It helps me to feel I’m doing something to support the situation so I have made leaflets and a couple of our neighbours are helping me deliver them to local houses. Just to offer any help or let people know we can chat if they feel lonely or worried.
Your dog is lovely. Gorgeous 😍
I’d love a dog to cuddle up to.
I hope you have news about your husbands return date soon.
Claire xx
Thank you, Claire. Yes, so many people on so many levels! I think it’s wonderful what you’re doing to offer help. People will no doubt take you up on it and/or remembered that you cared. You’re making an impact. That will contribute to your wellbeing as well. You’re the best! 💕 Xx
If it only means a few local people come together with a little bit of community spirit that’s something.
Hope you are hanging on in there 😘
I too am so sorry to hear about your hubby’s return being delayed! What a great list though. Very good things. And… your dog!!! 😍🤗😍
Thank you, Nadine. Yes, I’m glad I have my kiddos around And my fur baby. ♥️👍🏻🌟
Thank you for the shout out! Congratulations on your one year anniversary, that is remarkable, you are amazing! I too have a Westie, and yours is adorable. 🙂 When things get dicey, I am a firm believer in education and stepping out of my comfort zone. So, I am stretching myself by learning how to do more things with my blog. I’m currently playing with forms, printables, and expanding my blog/pinterest connection. I’m learning a lot by trying to figure out how other bloggers are doing things. It keeps my mind from being idle. If you haven’t already, check out Canva. It is FREE, and it is FUN. Oh, and at night, I’m binge watching Gilmore Girls, so good! 🙂
Thanks so much, Julie. What a great suggestion to put in some extra time and learning on the blog! Especially since I’m new at this whole thing. Always a lot to learn, and now we have the time to do it! 💕👍🏻
Sending big hugs to you, Collette. I had thought I hit send from yesterday on responding to this, but I’m not seeing it. Definitely hope your husband can get home soon. This is indeed stressful times and you have a lot going on. One thing I’d add to your list is if tears come…don’t try to keep them inside. Let them out. Holding it in just keeps it all bottled inside. You just be you and don’t try to live up to any other expectations. You are doing amazing!! Big hugs to Lilly too : )
Thanks, Dwight. It’s good to hear permission to be myself, feel all the feels and do my best. There have definitely been some times when I’ve broken down the last few months. And when I do, I feel healed afterwards. Thanks for your kindness and support! I appreciate you!! Xx