As part of my continuing monthly series, my word for April is Escapes. I feel like I need to preface this post with the acknowledgement that there are millions of people in the world who are living the reality of physical escape, and thousands more who are not able to. I know that, sitting across the world in my comfortable home, I cannot fathom this horrendous reality and I continue to pray and support. My intention in choosing this word is in focusing on mental escapes, and escaping your life, for a few hours, or days or weeks, and whether what we use to escape can be healthy.
It’s easy to say that “escaping” your life is a bad thing; it’s unrealistic to say that our lives never need escaping.
We are a week into April and this month has included: a funeral, a birthday, job stress (state standardized testing) and illness. As a teacher, I now get a week of escape, in the form of Spring Break. Even though I’m not traveling, I look forward to a week of mental escapes. My relationship with escaping reality is complicated and can easily slip into unhealthy territory. I spent almost three decades of my life escaping though booze, and have put a lot of work into examining that behavior, unlearning it, and developing healthier escapes. It’s easy to say that “escaping” your life is a bad thing; it’s unrealistic to say that our lives never need escaping.
In fact, I believe that escaping, when done in healthier ways, is an important part of our mental health. How can we be expected to function in this world, in our daily lives with all of the demands, challenges, disappointments and expectations without taking mental time-outs? Yes, using alcohol to escape the chaos and craziness of life was bad; but there are other ways to escape that are healthy and necessary, if we are to keep on and keep up in this world. American cartoonist Lynda Barry said, “We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality. We create it to be able to stay.”
Probably needless to state, but to call out other unhealthy escapes besides alcohol, I would include: any drug use, disordered eating, pornography, excessive gambling, shopping, social media scrolling, media consumption or anything else that destroys (slowly or quickly) the body and/or soul.
Here are some examples of my healthier escapes. Reading a great book (currently reading The Keeper of Happy Endings by Barbara Davis, next up: The Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles. Physical exercise that gets you sweaty and tired (watching Netflix, currently “Bad Vegan,” next up, the second season of “Bridgerton”, while hustling on my elliptical). Pleasant walks tuning into birdsong and nature (if you’re a bird nerd like me, try The Cornell Lab Merlin app that helps you ID birds in your area by photo or recorded sound). Meditation. Very warm, lavender bubble baths. Puzzles of my favorite places or things (currently working on a beautiful, double-sided succulent design). Gardening and tending to plants and flowers (it’s time to plant tomatoes!). Nature photography (ducklings, cygnets and goslings are arriving). Playing the piano. Turning off the news and picking up a pen. Doing small, good things (a conversation with a student, cooking meals for a family in crisis, driving your mom and dad to your aunt’s memorial in your hometown three hours away).
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, with the world, with your day, with all the yuck that surrounds us. Here is your permission to escape, in a healthy way because you are worthy of your own care and compassion. Find what you love, someone you love, or a way to love someone else that will bring you peace, release, and rejuvenation.
Here are a few quotes I found about escapes:
Football is my sanctuary. It’s where I go to escape. It’s where I’m most happy.
Odell Beckhan, Jr.
My escape is to just get in a boat and disappear on the water.
Carl Hiaasen
Art is a way to express yourself and through that you can escape a bad situation.
Russell Simmons
Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.
Graham Greene
What are your escapes?
I find that nature is my escape, and it helps me a lot. Thanks for sharing!
Feel free to read some of my blogs 🙂
Thank you for reading, friend. I will check out your blogs!
Hey Collette. I enjoy reading books on wellness- mental, physical, and spiritual. Also, I’ve been taking my old dog Boris on super slow walks around the block walks. They have turned into almost meditation walks …very enjoyable.
That sounds great, Dwight. My dogs are still hyper walkers, so I don’t get much relaxation from our walks, but when I leave them home…it’s a different experience. Hope you are well!
meditation, definitely…but also weightlifting. Both take me away from the stress and refocus my mind and body:)
I love that you have your escapes too… Curious, what about your art?
i am putting it on the back burner for now as i focus more on my health and some house projects. No sales in 2 months and so mo extra money for materials. I will get back to it in time, but taking a hiatus:)
Being outside. Yoga outside, walking outside, running outside. Star watching. I was reading from a leading NHS doctor that looking into the distance and using more of your peripheral vision is good for you, forces the body to relax. ❤️
I’ve never tried yoga outdoors, but it sounds like something I would definitely enjoy. Hope you are well, friend!
I need to get back into reading in the future however I am back exercising which is a great stress relief after work! I too love puzzles of my favorite things! Currently working on a The Shining puzzle. Have a great week Collette!
That’s great that you’re being consistent with exercising. It definitely helps with energy and wellness! Puzzles are very meditative and relaxing…love that feeling when it all falls into place!