Accountability Announcement: I’m starting Whole30 tomorrow. Creator Melissa Hartwig Urban describes it as “a short-term intervention designed to teach people how the foods they are eating impacts them, and ultimately create their own perfect diet.” It’s an elimination diet, not meant to be permanent, but rather a controlled experiment (with you as the guinea pig) to recognize, as you strategically introduce foods back into your life, what makes you feel good and what does not work for you. This plan was never an option for me in the past because I could not conceive giving up alcohol for 30 days, but now that I’ve almost reached a year of sobriety, I say, bring it.
One reason I want to do this is because I know I purchase and consume way too many processed foods and I want to learn how to eat and prepare natural whole foods. Another reason is my sugar intake has gotten out of control and, ladies and gentlemen, I need an intervention!
Sometimes we need to take things away in order to shed light on the problem. And the problem is that I’ve fallen back into the habit of filling myself with the wrong things.
Ah, self discovery. That beautiful, painful process of turning the lens we use to view our world back onto ourselves. Like the scary moment when you reverse your phone camera onto your own face. Is that really the image I’m portraying to the world? And what is behind that smile?
By eliminating alcohol from my life, I illuminated a whole host of behaviors and beliefs I carted around with me in my “functioning toolbox.” In short, I used booze to….. (fill in the blank). This caused me to behave in ways that weren’t aligned to my true self and to believe thoughts that justified those behaviors. For instance, “It’s okay to have mini bottles of wine in your purse and drink them in the school bathroom stall during your son’s game.” Or, “I’ve had a long day and I deserve to reward myself with wine.”
With the wine gone, I see my life for what it is, and the possibilities and opportunities waiting for me to grab like perfectly ripened fruit.
With my husband gone (albeit temporarily), I started to notice that tendency of mine to grasp at things to fill the void inside. In my current circumstance, I broke out my “functioning toolbox” that now contains no booze and reached for the sugar, specifically anything chocolate to…. (fill in the blank). It’s the dopamine hit. Wanting to feel good instead of facing loneliness, boredom or overwhelm.
This new dependence I’ve developed (I’ve always love chocolate but it has now escalated to the level of dependence) has made me realize a few things. One, I have to get rid of that damned, beat-up, over-used “functioning toolbox” that I fill with coping mechanisms that don’t serve me. Also, that it is human nature to try to fill ourselves with things that aren’t healthy for us in an attempt to satisfy our desire to be full.
Full. Complete. Satisfied. My search to fill the void or “scratch the itch” has led me to try many things in this world. And the answer I finally arrived at is that I don’t need to be filled, by things, in this world. I need to be filled by God, who is so much bigger than things in or of this world.
I believe that God created us all with a longing in our hearts that only he can fill. And that he wants me to seek him daily. To thirst for him as I used to thirst for wine, and to hunger for him like I currently hunger for chocolate. If I do this, he has promised to fill me with the right things so that I can finally be satisfied.
Still, knowing and doing is an ongoing process. Being aware of what needs to be eliminated is a starting point. Spending as much time seeking God as I do in pursuit of earthly things is a next step. Living my life in a way that centers around him and translates into me loving and serving others, instead of trying to fill myself, is the destination. I must continue to journey toward it, even if I never fully arrive.
And, if I start the Whole30 tomorrow, I can still have a Cadbury egg at Easter.
Good for you! The one book that changed the way we eat completely is 100 Days of Real Food. We still follow her guidelines and use her recipes. Love. <3
Thank you for the book recommendation…I will definitely check it out. I’m on a mission! ♥️🙏
Enjoy the journey lovely. <3
I only found this post because it popped up on my email. It didn’t appear on the reader feed. Just in case you wondered why people hadn’t seen it!
It resonated with me today. Needing to ‘fill’ myself up. I’ve developed a dependency on a couple of things since I stopped drinking. I wish one of them was exercise!! Really interesting read Collette
Claire xx
Thanks, Claire! Yes, why can’t we ever develop healthy dependencies? I guess we can…it just takes a lot more work and intentionality. Hmmm, I don’t see the post on my Reader feed either and I don’t know how to make it appear. I didn’t do anything different this time and they usually automatically show up. I wish I wasn’t so technologically challenged!! 😔 XX
It happened to someone else too. No idea why. Maybe go into your account, check the ‘posts’ section and re publish? It might appear then. I’m sure lots of others would like to read it.
Healthy dependencies would be great. Dependent on running, broccoli, lettuce and brushing our teeth! 😂
It’s appeared 😁😁😆
Thanks! I republished like you said! 🤪🤩
I did an elimination diet cleanse once for 5 weeks, and I felt amazing after. Good luck with Whole 30. I’ve been considering something like that again, too.
I’m looking forward to feeling amazing! Lately I’ve felt tired, bloated, headachey, hangry and can’t sleep well…hopefully much of this will change. Thank you for your kind words! 💕👍🏻
i don’t think i have ever tried that particular diet, but i have heard of it and i believe it has merit. I’m still experimenting with things as i said, because, hormonally , age wise, etc i have changed and all the old rules no longer apply. and..btw….cadbury eggs…mmmmm. lately really craving chocolate ..
Good Luck!
Way to go Collette! Wishing you the best. One good thing I’ve noticed with my own changes is that cravings have gone way down. I don’t know the facts, but I heard that some of that bad food most of us love actually triggers us to crave more and more. Go figure! I can now walk by sweets and not even flinch. And when I’m bored and looking for food I’m also feeling FULL… and I can acknowledge that it’s not hunger that’s driving me—it’s something else. Not to say that doesn’t stop me, but at least I’m learning to be mindful of my habit. One step at a time!
Yes, that’s one of the reasons I wanted to try Whole30 because sugar causes real cravings, reminiscent of my i-need-a-drink days when I first stopped drinking. And following the plan promises to wipe out cravings (once you haven’t had any for a week or so). So I had to try it…so far, on day 3, a cookie is still the first thought that comes into my mind after a meal… I’ll let you know how it goes!
I get that for sure! Until October of last year after meals required a cigarette. After that, something sweet. I wish you the very very best through your journey. I am stuck on trying to figure out how to make miracle food out of carob or cacoa so they are as fabulous as a chocolate sundae. But, as you mentioned, as time goes on it’s drifting away from my mind. 🙂