Last night, I dreamt I was walking with a large handbag and inside I found an already open bottle of chilled viognier, a varietal I enjoyed a little too much. It was open. It was chilled. So inevitably I started to drink it, and along with it all the feelings of guilt over blowing it after nearly two years of dedication to my sober life.
I see the topic of “drinking dreams” come up frequently in the sober community. The phenomenon is fascinating on many levels. First, that so many people in recovery have dreams where they “mess up” and start drinking again. Also, experiencing the actual feelings of remorse and guilt that would accompany such an occurrence. Third, the fact that they visit us at seemingly random times, when we may not be thinking about drinking at all in our waking hours. Finally, the fact that they often occur in clusters, and we can have many drinking dreams over a period of weeks.
I’ve had a string of these dreams lately, and it makes me wonder why. I feel strong in my sobriety and rarely have the urge to drink. Thoughts of drinking have moved to the background of my mind and my life, except when I sleep, apparently.
Many people place a great deal of significance on dreams and what they symbolize. Dreams and their interpretation are written about in the Bible. There is even a “dream dictionary.” But I’ve never placed much meaning in or pondered the significance of my dreams.
Now, though, I am thinking about different explanations for my dreams. Perhaps once something such as a substance addiction becomes so enmeshed in your brain, it might permanently occupy a space. A little gnarl of leftover feelings and impressions that may express themselves in your sleep. But still, what about the timing? Why last night or three nights ago, or last week, when the idea of drinking seems irrelevant at this point in my life?
Is dreaming of relapse my mind’s way of acting out a dress rehearsal (I hope not)? Is it my brain telling me it lacks trust in my thought patterns and behaviors? Is it an expression of repressed desire? A prediction that self-sabotage will rise again?
These are all unsettling explanations, but I did turn to the aforementioned Dream Dictionary, out of curiosity and got a more hopeful interpretation. Under the entry of Alcohol, it said, “Recovering alcoholics often have dreams of drinking which results in feelings of guilt. Such dreams help to reinforce their sobriety.” Hmmm. Maybe these dreams are an inner prompting to be grateful for the life I now have.
Maybe I’m overthinking now. Maybe a cigar is just a cigar, and a dream is just a dream….
If not, I will say that I’m not surprised by my mind doubting my success. Maybe my inner critic gets a say in the plots of my dreams. If that is the case, I will push them aside, like the doubts that spring up like weeds on some days. I will say, “Thank you, God, that was just a dream,” and go on living. Continuing on this journey of wellness I’ve set out to travel.
Still, I wonder. I’d love to hear what my sober community makes of drinking dreams. Please let me know your thoughts…
Hey, Collette. I’ve had a few and like you just wake up feeling thankful it was only a dream! I guess that might just be it for me, a reminder – a reinforcement – that my life is so much better and I am indeed thankful.😊
Yes, that’s what I’m inclined to do as well. Thanks for sharing, Dwight! 💕
I haven’t had one, so I can’t comment on that specifically. I imagine, however, that no matter where it came from, the dream will serve as a reminder of why you are glad you don’t drink. Always good to remember! 🤗
Indeed! I just think it’s odd they are all popping up at once. Let me know when/if you have one. They are full of feelings! Hope you’re doing well! 💕
I am always thankful they are only a dream and they remind me of the feelings I once experienced and am so grateful I no longer have to. I read a great book recently called ‘why we sleep’ by Matthew Walker. It’s fascinating … he touches on dreams and why sleep is so important. Xxx
Thank you, Claire. I am thankful too, once I wake up! I’ll have to check out that book. Hope you’re having a good weekend! 💕
Brain’s way of taking out the garbage. Picked it up on the science channel a while back and I never worried about dreams again. The freedom is wonderful.
Thanks, Jim. This is good to know. Puts my mind at ease. 😊💕
I’ve definitely had my share of drink dreams….. I think most of the time I’ve woke up without taking that drink…but still… those dreams always leave me unsettled. Love bgddyjim’s theory- the brain taking out the garbage!
Yes, I like Jim’s explanation as well. Taking out the garbage, acting out a fear… awaking thankful that they are only garbage. 🙂 Thank you for reading and commenting, Elizabeth! Xx
I’ve only had a few, and I never drink in them.
Strange, but I just think they are our brains processing things.
They are disconcerting for sure!
xo
Wendy
Yes, I agree. Thank you for reading and sharing, Wendy!
I can’t claim complete sobriety, so the recurring dream for me involves drinking and driving and being completely out of control. I think, it’s about fear, and I pray this fear keeps me in check.
Yes, I think many recurring dreams are our brains’ way of acting out fears…and then you awake thankful it was a dream, and that indeed helps keep us in check. Xx
Such an interesting and thoughtful provoking post Collette, per usual ❣️😉
Perspective from a non drinker: I feel like a kindred spirit (who feels great admiration and inspiration for recovering alcoholics) who goes through many of the stages of growth with similar challenges, I have always believed that when I revisit dreams of past mistakes I too get to witness the errors of my way.
At first I felt shame and guilt and regret when I woke but then I realized I got to witness the person I no longer am and I give myself some love for how much I’ve grown and the healthy changes I’ve made ❤️❤️🤗
I’m grateful reading all the comments because I feel comforted that I’m not alone 😘🥰
Yes, I think the common opinion seems to be to use it as an opportunity to be grateful at how far we’ve come. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I appreciate you so much!!💕
❤️🤗
Dreams are of the subconscious, of the heart, the seat of the emotions, revealing our desires. On a subconscious level you desire WINE, but it is a literal desire or a spiritual desire? WINE symbolizes SPIRIT. The WATER that was turned to wine symbolizes the WASTE in our life; the false beliefs that prevent us from obtaining balance “temperance” with regard to these earthly pleasures. It was those under the LAW that accused JESUS of being a WINE-BIBBER. The law of abstinence serves a purpose. But if we are willing to do the deep internal work that purifies our emotions, out actions will be pure, finding a perfect balance, where no law of control or abstinence is needed, which is why Jesus said, “clean the inside of the cup and the platter so the outside of them will become clean,” the outside of thought and emotion being action. Godspeed
Thank you for this interpretation. I found it really interesting! 🌟
My pleasure, Collette. You might find my second book of interest. It’s called “The Little Book for the soul.” I will soon be offering the eBook version for free on amazon. If you are interested let me know and I will send you a message when I do. https://thebibledecoded.com/the-books/