Take 5 Minutes to Read What it Took me 5 years to Figure Out

As I celebrate five years of sobriety, I realize I have been on the ride of my life. Lots of ups and downs but a life-changing upward trend. I want to share my journey over the past few years, especially with women readers in or nearing the second half of their 40s. I felt like no one warned me about the changes I’ve gone through, and that it certainly isn’t discussed enough. When I started researching perimenopause on my own, trying to make sense of how I was feeling, I found a limited number of informational books along with many different diet and supplement peddlers trying to make a buck off of women’s misery. Just another way to commodify the demand for feeling better, or trying to be more. 

So I want to share what has worked for me, along with the resources that helped me get here. And here, as I like to say, is everything. 

1. At 43, I stopped drinking after many failed attempts because I was desperate to feel and live better. My liver (and my whole body) thanks me, my sleep is 1,000 times better, and my relationships and mental health have improved tenfold.
2. I spent time learning how to live with a clear head and open heart. To feel the bad and the good and let it be so. To process, write, and think. To absorb the beauty that I wasn’t able to behold from down in the pit. And to start showing up consistently for myself and my loved ones. This produced trust, which acts as a salve on open wounds.
3. I began to develop a sense of self along with the belief that I can do hard things. 
4. Once I felt I had it somewhat figured out, I got knocked on my ass by the wave of perimenopause: weight gain, hormone hell, hopelessness.
5. I bemoaned my fate in private social media groups for a while. Then I got back up, refusing to settle into mid-life, stretchy pants from Costco, and general unwellness.
6. I started an exercise program, moving my body in an active way 5-6 times per week. I picked up running again, even though it was the slowest pace I’d ever jogged. Gradually, I got faster and ran farther. 
7. I started to use a fitness app to log my calories. Fourteen hundred calories felt cruel and I was  hungry and grumpy at first. But I accepted the fact that I now have to eat to accommodate hormonal changes and a slowing metabolism. I no longer have room to consume an 800 calorie cookie from the boutique bakery, even if it is frosted, sprinkled and heaven on earth (though once in a while I still indulge because, life).
8. I hit a plateau and wanted to pull my hair out because this was the hardest I’d ever worked at something and I was still 20+ pounds away from my goal. I complained, and read, and complained some more before I tried a good probiotic/prebiotic. I take Bioma with a big glass of water each morning and have no plans to stop.  It kick-started an eight-pound loss when nothing else would.
9. Then I hit another plateau and decided to invest in myself and join a gym. I started working with a personal trainer once a week to learn proper form, how to use all the equipment, and have workouts tailored to my fitness needs. Personal training sessions also gave me access to an Evolt body composition machine and I got to track my fat loss and muscle gain.  I purchased six months and am in month five and have lost another 10 pounds, and according to my bio age on the body composition machine, I’m getting younger!
10. I am continuing to educate myself on health and fitness. Podcasts and books have been huge resources for me. I listened to Dr. Gabrielle Lyon and then bought her book Forever Strong and changed the way I was eating and exercising. Hint: women in their late 40s and beyond should be focusing on a protein-forward diet and strength training 3-5 times a week. We’re obsessed with fat loss when we should be obsessed with maintaining a healthy muscular-skeletal system as we age. 
11. I make exercise a priority. Whether I have to get up at 4:45 to get to the gym before work, or spend my Saturday/Sunday mornings on a long run, I make it a point to work out 5 days a week. This usually includes 40-45 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of strength training. Now that it’s a regular part of my life, I don’t even consider whether I want to each day, I just do. And I have never experienced more energy than I do now. 
12. I am continuing to hack my diet. I am no longer focused on counting calories as I am with eating the right type of foods. For me this is lots of protein and fiber and reducing refined sugar and ultra processed foods as much as possible. Another hint: the food industry adds sugar to EVERYTHING, so the more you can eat food without labels, the better. 
13. I am shifting my focus to the long game. I purchased a good quality blood pressure monitor and am getting bloodwork done a minimum of once per year to have my biomarkers checked. It’s fun to see them improve! I’m learning how to exercise properly, incorporating cardiovascular fitness, strength training and stability exercises for optimal aging. And, keeping up with all the fun but necessary tests a person of my age should do to stay on the prevention side of the fence.
14. With this long-term perspective comes the realization that health is a dynamic process involving what we put into our bodies, and what we put out in the form of effort and exercise. I’m not stopping now that I’ve lost 35 pounds…I’m continuing this lifestyle of making health my priority as I age. 
15. And, as always, keep learning! There are so many intelligent, perceptive, creative people out there with so much wisdom to share. I’ll link my favorite books and Podcasts below and check out my Sobriety Toolkit page for additional books and resources.  I’d love to hear yours!

–Love and Life,

Collette

Helpful Resources:

The Huberman Lab Podcast (episodes on fitness training, sugar, longevity, alcohol, brain health and much more)

The Mel Robbins Podcast (episode with Dr. Lyons on strength training and protein plus lots of other great episodes…Mel gets it!)

Outlive by Bill Gifford  and Peter Attia, M.D.

The Good Gut by Justin and Erica Sonnenburg, Ph.Ds.

Forever Strong by Dr. Gabrielle Lyon

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza

The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer

Up Next:

The New Menopause by Dr. Mary Claire Haver