“To live without regret is to believe we have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with our lives.”
This line from Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart has been sitting with me lately. As I celebrate 5 years of sober, mindful living and I believe that regret played a pivotal role in getting me to change. I was living with the chronic day-to-day regrets that I hadn’t made better choices the evening before: breaking promises to myself and others, not being emotionally available to my family, remembering harsh words I said, and worrying about the ones I’d forgotten about. There was also the cumulative regret of wasting another month, another year, another decade living a numbed-out, sub-par life; failing to engage, or risk, or dream.
After I stopped drinking, regret went from being a suffocating presence to gradually fading into a treasured reminder of why I chose different. It allowed me to learn from my years of suffering because nothing is ever wasted. It allowed me to stack up the painful memories surrounding me and my children or husband and slowly replace them with moments of love and connection. And it allowed me to wake up each day with a hope and a plan because I knew I never wanted to return to regretful living.
Yes, hopes get dashed, plans go awry, and bravery doesn’t always equal success. But the fact that I get to spend every day of my life living, learning, and loving turns any perceived sacrifice into a profound victory. So thank you, regret, for inspiring me to stop wasting and start living. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As I was waiting for my coffee cup to fill, I thought this thank you regret post resonated well with me. Then I was over taken with one swoop of that cold chill that reaches to the soul and confirms yes. A yes as a sign. A yes to reread a few more times. A yes to smile as Source conveyed through you to me such a loving perspective. Thank you, Collette. I miss hearing how you’re doing. Big big hugs.
Happy beautiful 5 years.
Thank you, Dwight! I miss reading your posts more often, and getting to bounce ideas off each other as well! Hope you are doing well friend. You’ve also had a soberversary this month, correct? I need to drop in more often. I think this regret thing seems counterintuitive because we are so conditioned that regret equals bad feelings and pain. But I think we need to feel the pain in order to right ourselves and look for the light. And through this process, we have found it. Have a beautiful Sunday! Hugs to you!
Lovely post and that is just fabulous .. 5 years of sobriety. So very proud of you Collette. I’m on my ‘take 2’ sober journey and I’m learning a lot this time around. I am trying to tap into the spiritual, find new ways of ‘being’ to try and maintain my sobriety and also to live my life as a better version of myself, and feel joy along the way. As Dwight said above, this post reached into my soul. Thank you ☺️ xx
Thank you Claire! I’m rooting for you, as I remember well the peace and fulfillment you felt during your first round. Always a journey, and always learning more. 💛
thats awesome Collete! So many of you on here that i met way back in 2018/2019 have just blown me away with your determination and commitment to your sober journey..So wild thats it’s been 5 years. You are a rock!
Thank you, Lovie. Your support has meant a great deal to me! Very thankful for our circle of friends. 💛🌟
i just looked- we met on here January 17th of 2020…it’s been a crazy ride and so glad we all found each other!
Yes! I think blogging really helped us ride that Covid wave. Glad we had/have each other to check in with. 💛🌟
I’m so proud of you my friend,I’m know how hard this journey has been. But it opens up so much going forward. ❤️❤️
Congratulations!