Disclaimer: This post is not one of my usual hope-filled messages, but I feel the need to be authentic with my readers. Read on to learn more about my current affliction, the Yuck.
Last week, the majority of California went back into lockdown due to COVID-19. My district informed me that we will be starting the school year with distance learning, which I now like to refer to as distant learning.
My children’s schools will probably soon follow suit and my bookend offspring will grieve not having a second-grade or senior year. (My mellow middle child not really caring about anything but video games these days.)
I know the danger in making a trait your identity, as I chose gr8ful_collette for my handle. The universe pushes you to defend your choice. And I AM still grateful so for many things on many different levels.
But I am also afflicted with this general sense of Yuck that I can’t seem to shake. I cannot motivate myself to start the school year on screens. I want to connect with my students and their beautiful babies each day. This is how I serve, and lead. My heart is hurting for my own kids and their loss of formative experiences and milestones we view (viewed?) as rites of passage.
I am so weary of violent, hate-filled, death-centric images on the news. And on the subject of news… I am disgusted with the fact that politics and the media are such intimate bedfellows. So much so, that it should be the latest sex scandal. At how impossible it is to access unbiased, fact-based news-without-an-agenda. Especially during these troubled times.
I know people on both sides of the political spectrum (I even live with two of them…that’s fun). I listen to them spout out completely opposite arguments, and cite whatever media outlet they choose to inhale.
Where’s the truth? Certainly not in the news.
It is a sad day when we are living with such uncertainty and volatility, and can’t even access a reliable truth. It’s an even sadder day when the two people running to lead this country are the best we have to offer.
And it’s not going away–any of it–any time soon. Just like the Yuck that I’m stuck with.
I think that given the state of the world in 2020, the Yuck is a perfectly normal and legitimate response, and that it’s super important to acknowledge it (as opposed to the “toxic positivity” or “denial” modes, which just push feelings away instead of acknowledging them before letting them go). So I 100% approve of and agree with this post and still think of you as the wonderful, grateful and honest, authentic Collette 🙂 <3 xxx Anne
Ah, thank you, friend! You are so right. Positivity can be toxic when it’s forced or false. Denial doesn’t help anyone. Things are just so heavy, and have been for so long…might be a perfect time to leave the country! 🙂 Xx
<3 😉 xxxx
I totally get it. I do a little “forced” anticipation for better days. I think the scariest part is that the separation is so huge that no matter which side wins (and “winning” is a tricky word these days), it’s only going to get worse. Disagreements aren’t little disputes and debates anymore, they are hate filled arguments with threats of violence. Both sides are so angry that there are no win-wins on the table anymore. Of course, I speak out of a tiny bit of ignorance because I refuse to watch any news at all. I have felt YUCK for at least a month now, so please don’t feel bad for your honesty and transparency. Much love to you!! xxx
Thank you, Janet. Yes, positivity feels inappropriate these days. And with many difficult situations you get through them because you know it will get better. I just don’t have that reassurance with this situation. Sending love and strength your way. Xx
I’m feeling it as well. None of mine has to do with the schooling stuff ,of course , but the general angst and malaise of the current times. I find myself caught between utter disgust with the world and seriously wanting to still make a difference no matter how passive. I keep trying to focus on my art and the new relationship and keep a weather eye on the horizon for changes that will affect me as i go. Not sure any of it helps and thats the dichotomy of being an artist AND a nurse i guess. Big Virtual Hugs!
It is a comfort knowing people relate and feel it too. It feels too big to make a difference but I still cling to hope. I think focusing on small things helps. Things we can do and say and be. Sending love and strength! Xx
Thinking of you over there. Nothing harder than ‘holding that tension’ of life. It’s bloody tough. Taking little, values based actions is often all we can do. Hang in there
Thank you. I love that. Little, values-based actions. You have me off on a new string of thoughts. There are many possibilities in little things. X
Yep. It sucks.
Truth. 😉
Yes, me too. I’m deep in the yuck right now. I despair for the country. I am freaked out about distance learning again. Yes, sigh. Me, too. Sending hugs!
Sigh. Lots of sighs these days. Hang in there, Leafy. Hugs to you. Xx
I am in total Yuck … I just can’t shake it off (and I’m away!!)
It’s normal though and life is not hearts, flowers and roses. We can still be grateful but feel yucky every now and then. Sending hugs 🤗 😘
I’ve decided to be ill-informed.
I so get that.💕