This Tuesday, I return to my classroom, which will hopefully be filled with healthy, socially-distanced students all eager to learn. One can only hope. This may last a week, a month or a school year, but I am determined to bring my best self with me for as long as it lasts. I know in my heart that it’s where I need to be.
I’ve been rolling the idea around in my mind, getting used to the reality that I will be teaching in-person again. Trying to prepare for and memorize the long list of requirements and procedures that accompany COVID-19 and classrooms.
At one point last night I became anxious, like the short-of-breath, panicked kind of anxious, brought on my browsing news headlines. But I reminded myself of the futility in looking at monumental issues (probably inaccurately reported) as one small person.
Then I decided to put down my phone and be present, which involved eating frozen yogurt with my family and having the dog model her bee costume, which my daughter convinced me to buy for Halloween. We find joy where we can.
What I will miss…
This morning I started a running list in my head of things I will miss about being able to teach online from home. The list went something like this:
- Having an extra hour to work out because I’m not commuting.
- Having control over what time I set my appointments (teenagers are never awake by 8 am anyway)
- Being able to teach in my workout clothes.
- Watching an episode of The Good Life on my mid-day meal break
- Getting to drive my daughter to school mid-morning and not having to take her to the school daycare.
- Going to the kitchen between appointments and starting dinner.
- Using my own bathroom (whenever I need to) and not the school restroom.
- Staff meetings online (“I’ll just turn off my camera for a few”…)
- My dog, sleeping contentedly under my desk.
- Not having to be exposed to dozens of different households and the germs they may or may not bring to school with them.
Then I realized that all of these things had to do with MY comfort and preferences. That confirmed to me that it is good that I’m leaving the comfort of my bubble and going back to the reasons I decided to be a teacher.
What I am missing…
- Being in the physical presence of my students.
- Getting the chance to have a conversation and offer guidance or encouragement.
- Being perhaps the only adult in their day who smiles at them and says something positive or uplifting.
- Having the ability to talk and teach without video freezing or distorted unintelligible speech (Algebra is hard enough as it is).
- Enjoying uninterrupted time to focus on schoolwork with easily distracted teenagers.
- Providing breakfast, lunch and snacks to students who may not otherwise have anything in the house to eat.
- Creating a safe, nurturing learning environment.
- Helping ease fears about life, parenting, parents, friendships, relationships and unexpected daily challenges.
- Being able to present the content in multiple ways and tweak my lessons based on real-time formative assessments (checking for understanding through a screen is unreliable at best).
- Getting to hold and love the babies that these teenagers have brought into the world, and bring into my classroom on their hips along with their homework and determination to graduate high school.
None of these reasons are about me, or my comfort, but all about what I have to offer those in need. In need of a meal or a smile. Some knowledge or encouragement. And by returning to school and meeting these needs, even if I feel uncomfortable or anxious, I know it is where I need to be.
There is a difference between being comfortable and being useful. Staying in our comfort zones is nice, and necessary at times, but too much time there can turn us soft and stagnant, maybe even a little self-absorbed. It’s time for me to step out of my bubble. Time to help shape and refine the lives I’m connected with through my occupation, and maybe even grow a little myself in the process.
I was quite concerned for my own return to work and my kids return to school.
I loved working from home.
Both experiences have been much better than expected. My son in in person in grade 12. Things are going well. Covid numbers are low in our city.
I found leaving the house a pain, but sort of motivating. Life delta bot more “normal”, even though it included masks, sanitizer, etc.
Hug. Take things slow. Breathe deep. It will be ok.
Anne
Thank you, Anne. I just need to focus on why I’m there, and not get derailed by the hailstorms of “news”, public opinion and negativity that tend to move through these days. I think when our lives are filled with purpose, they are easier to navigate. Take care. Hugs to you!
Love your reasons to be a teacher. Before covid, every friday I helped out at an inner city school. Every kid was given a bagel on their way in to eat at their desks so they weren’t hunger and I often thought it might be the only positive adult experience in their day. Your students are lucky to have you ♡
Thank you. I started teaching in 2008 when teaching jobs were really hard to come by. I got a job teaching at a secondary at-risk school…not the kind of job you picture when you’re working to earn your credential. But I fell in love with working with the at-risk population, and now wouldn’t do anything else. It will be good to be back in their presence.
This definitely struck a chord, Collette. What a great truth and perspective! It’s interesting because I’ve got a whole outlook/philosophy on Comfort vs Freedom and never have I brought in the concept of usefulness. Thank you for schooling me😀. By the way I remember a teacher named Mrs. Nash. She was beautiful on the inside and outside just like you. So much acceptance and love in her eyes. Your students are going to be very excited and fortunate to have you back in person.🤗
Thank you, Dwight. I’ve grown too comfortable in my bubble…time to get out there and be of use to someone in need of a hand. 🙂 It fills my cup as well. Hope you’re doing well! Xx
Teachers are AWESOME! My teacher friends here, are going back here, too!
So yes to all of what you wrote!
And giant hugs from one teacher to another!
xo
Wendy
Thank you, Wendy!! I will take your awesome good teacher vibes with me back into the classroom. Time to get back to the work that can only be done, face-to-face. 🙂 Xx
You sound like an amazing teacher, Collette. Your students are very fortunate. I get being nervous. I would be, too. It will be wonderful to be back in the classroom, though. For all of you. Many hugs! ❤️
Thank you, Leafy! Yes, I think everyone is nervous, to some degree. Even the students. But I hope they’ll show up because I am showing up for them. I don’t think I would have gone into teaching if I was too much of a germaphobe anyway, lol. Hope you are well! Xx
I’m a little jealous of your students having a teacher like you Collette and I am pleased for them they’ll have you back in their lives face to face soon. I think I have found too much comfort this week. I’m starting to stagnate at home and finding I become more hermit like as the days go by. The effort I have to drum up to get into work when I need to be there feels overwhelming but I always feel so motivated when I do it. Your post made me reflect on why I am feeling so lacklustre right now. I think it’s the at home situation and lack of human contact. Video calls are just not the same. Good luck this week ❤️❤️💕💕
It does feel overwhelming, in some ways, to think of returning to life in the classroom, but I need to be brave, shake things up a little, and show up. Not many people show up in life for the students I teach and I want them to know I will. I think it will be an important step forward, for them and for me. Adventures, right? Xx
I think it will be exactly the right thing for you to do. Xx
Good on you, great post and as a retired teacher myself, well done, you do an incredible job. Touching and helping to shape lives in a positive way- doesn’t get much better or more meaningful than that.X
Thank you, Jim. And thank you, too, for being part of the profession. I’m sure you made a difference in many lives. It’s not for the feint of heart, but the rewards are great…hey, kind of like sobriety, right? Hope you’re well. Xx
Didn’t leave this on WP – this is Teri ❤️
I love this post Collette❣️
Your list of what you’ll miss working at home was full of loving and practical reasons that make your life easier. It’s a real treat when this happens.
Then I read your list of what you’ve been missing working from school which was also full of loving and practical reasons that make “other” people’s lives easier.
Here is the crux of life, figuring put how to not let both of these areas, professional and personal lives, get consistently neglected.
Wonderful post❣️ Yes, stepping out of what’s comfy to engage and share our gifts is where the magic of life happens. ❤️❤️🤗
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