A season of enduring darkness seems to be what’s on the agenda for the time being. A gradual darkness, spread out like a carpet of loneliness with uncertain boundaries. At first, it was just red flags in our peripheral vision. A whiff of smoke in a still forest. Then the sun moved behind the clouds; Read More
Month: March 2020
Mindset.
I read a post on Instagram from one of my sober heroines, Carly Benson, that eloquently captured what I know to be true through my own experience. “To quit drinking, you have to change your mind about alcohol and what it means to you.” She goes on to say, “Sustainable sobriety starts in your mind. Read More
Practicing Powerlessness
Wednesday afternoon, my boys came back from their dads. I emerged from my almost-17-year-old’s bedroom to find two towering young men with Nerf guns in my living room. Their fingers moved up to their smiling lips and I registered delight in their eyes. My heart leaped and I let out a small shriek the same Read More
This is a Test…
I felt like March would be a month of milestones, celebrating transformations and homecomings. I hit my one-year sober milestone, was feeling good about my health journey and anticipating the return of my husband from his deployment. What I didn’t anticipate was the extra stretching and strain I would endure, like a rubber band that Read More
Reflections on a Year
I need to begin with an ending. To go back to that night, a year ago. The night when I finally said, “Enough.” When I said I’d do anything just to not do that thing anymore. When desperation got the upper hand and opened the door to surrender. When I took that first step on Read More
I am Full…of the Wrong Things!
Accountability Announcement: I’m starting Whole30 tomorrow. Creator Melissa Hartwig Urban describes it as “a short-term intervention designed to teach people how the foods they are eating impacts them, and ultimately create their own perfect diet.” It’s an elimination diet, not meant to be permanent, but rather a controlled experiment (with you as the guinea pig) Read More
Creating Balance
I studied the confident, serene, upright bodies gliding across the lake and it looked so easy. Now, on my hands and knees and looking anything but graceful, I pushed back onto the flats of my feet and made a wobbly attempt to stand. Splash! The cold water startled every pore on my skin and I Read More