A season of enduring darkness seems to be what’s on the agenda for the time being. A gradual darkness, spread out like a carpet of loneliness with uncertain boundaries.
At first, it was just red flags in our peripheral vision. A whiff of smoke in a still forest. Then the sun moved behind the clouds; light obscured, the way forward hidden from view.
Soon after, the gloaming approached, a tap on the shoulder that revealed no one when I turned. Weakened remnants of light sinking into night.
An enduring darkness that seems to have taken everything from our hands. “It’s out of our hands… So much is out of our hands.”
And yet, I see points of light. Transient twinkles of hope. Glimpses.
Nothing illuminated yet. We can’t see a way home for my husband. But God will always provide the light. Even if it’s old light that has traveled to us from a time long gone toward a future unknown.
When I see stars scattered across the night, perfectly random, perfectly planned, I see light piercing darkness. I think back to other times I’ve had to endure. Times when stars felt so very, very distant (as they do, in fact, tonight).
I see the dark places I lived, sometimes for days, months, even a stretch of years. The world is full of dark places we all have to call home for a time, a season.
But I also see the beauty of regrowth and regeneration that follows devastation. The beauty that is ours to claim after we’ve borne our scars and pain. I’m picturing the vignette from Fantasia 2000, where Mother Nature’s tears give life to a vibrant, flourishing landscape, healthier and stronger than before the fire.
And I trust, that when this is over–when my husband is allowed to come home, when people and the economy are healed, and connection is a thing again–a bright, sustaining light will show us the way forward.
That’s just what I needed to read this morning Collette thank you! Hope you’re doing ok – it must be so hard not having your husband with you – love and hugs to you and stay strong 💞💞💞xxx
Thank you! Connecting with my fellow bloggers, being able to write through my feelings helps a lot. Hope you are well. Xx
Really lovely post Collette. Jim x
Thanks, Jim xx
Just a hug.
xo
Wendy
I’ll take it! Hugs back to you. Xo
Sending a big virtual hug to you! Very beautiful writing, Collette, and sad. It made me think of a Wrinkle in Time. I’m glad you can see the light shine through in the darkness. xoxo🤗
Thanks Leafy. Connecting with you all helps a lot. Knowing someone hears me. 😣 Hugs back at you! Xx
Just beautiful my lovely friend. I’ve been thinking about you a lot this weekend. Praying your husband comes home to you very soon xxx
Thank you so much, dearest. Thank you for walking through this time with me through shared words and feelings. Xx
❤️❤️❤️
😍
beauty in simplicity:)xoxox
Thank you, just the reminder I needed this morning. Affirming with you that there is beauty to come. <3
This is beautiful Collette. I’ve been meaning to get over here to see how you’re holding up. Your post makes total sense. Just gotta hang in there! 😘❤🙏
Thank you, Janet! I appreciate your encouragement! 💕