What Not to Say

I recently attended a gathering with extended family, many of whom I’d not spoken to in years. A lot of families find themselves lives and miles apart, once the matriarch and patriarch have passed away, and mine is no exception. When we do get together, conversations often feel arbitrary or surface; how do two people Read More

Odd Woman Out

Yesterday, our school staff had a catered lunch to celebrate one of our co-worker’s 60th birthday. She was just returning from major surgery and mentioned that she can’t do drugs (pain medication) but “gin and tonics helped.” (Many laughs and nods). The conversation that played out among the group had no fewer than half a Read More

Musings from a sober anniversary

Last weekend, we spent our 12th wedding anniversary in San Francisco. We stayed at the Mark Hopkins, and took in a Giants game and the Immersive Van Gogh Exhibition. In between the two, we had appetizers and drinks at the Top of the Mark, the place where my husband proposed. This venue, with its panoramic Read More

Not Buying What They’re Selling

I celebrate another trip around the sun on the 4th of July; I’ll be 46. The process of me moving through my 40s, what I consider middle age, combined with the experience of me getting sober is causing a lot of reflecting and assessing. It invites me to think about the world I see around Read More

Choosing Me (Rather than Changing Me)

If you follow my blog or even just read it from time to time, you know I consider myself on a wellness journey. This journey began when I stopped drinking and started choosing me. Me over what society expects of me. Me rather than a version of myself crafted by norms and group think. When Read More

My Issue

As most of you know, I am in a situation where someone close to me remains in the hospital after going through alcohol withdrawal and liver failure and now is trying to get well enough to enter rehab. I had a conversation with my mother-in-law about this situation and she made a comment that really Read More

Holding on to Hope

I’m writing this post to anyone who struggles with substance abuse or has a loved one who struggles, which is most of us. I’m writing from a place of shock and guilt, grief and some anger too. Someone close to me, exactly who I won’t disclose at this point, is in the hospital, fighting for Read More

My Own Outfit

One of the most significant choices we commit to in a life of sobriety is choosing ourselves over “the crowd.” Choosing our own wellbeing over fitting in. In my last few years of drinking, I tried sobriety on like an outfit I thought didn’t suit me. One of the big reasons I felt this way Read More

The Truth, As I See It

What if, one day, you realized that your reality—the truth you had been fed and willingly accepted—was a lie? What if those in a position of power through their words and images and actions told you, showed you and tried to prove to you that something was safe and acceptable when it really wasn’t? What Read More