The Suitcase

Imagine a huge suitcase inviting you fill its space. At first, articles and pieces get placed in a neat, orderly fashion. It seems so roomy and contained. Then, as layers are added, things start to crowd and squish. But don’t worry, this suitcase has expandable zippers to accommodate even more! More stuff. Then, as time goes on and you grow tired of packing it all down, you start to stuff your stuff. Things will confront you that you don’t know what to do with, so you put them in the suitcase. Soon, you’re cramming it down with both hands and sitting on the top to close it. Trying desperately to contain all the stuff.

Huffing and puffing with effort, and maybe defeat, you realize your stuff has nowhere left to go. That there will always be new stuff and only so much space. And this suitcase you’ve filled to bursting is now very, very heavy.

You try carrying it, no pulling it, but you are tired. Tired of the stuffing and hiding. Tired of it weighing you down. If only there were some way to be free of this suitcase full of stuff…

When you get sober, you realize that for all these years, you have been stuffing your “stuff” down inside you. Your solution for dealing with discomfort was to try to make it disappear. But thoughts and feelings, though they can be forgotten or anesthetized for a time, don’t just vanish. They occupy a space inside you and are as real as tangible items you would pack into a suitcase. That’s why they call it baggage. The feelings are real, and so is the weight that accompanies them.

Once you realize you are full of unresolved, wrinkled piles of perceptions and thoughts and emotions, you know the only solution is to unpack. Yes, the time has come to learn how to analyze your inner belongings. To see whether they still fit, or if they need to be discarded. You will probably find that a lot of stuff you’ve been carrying around should have been laid to rest years ago. No worries though… the decluttering process brings with it cleansing and renewal.

You may also find that you need to sit with some things for awhile. Hold in your hands, and maybe even try on one more time. This helps you feel the discomfort and reaffirms that it no longer suits you, even if you want it to, or think it should.

And there will be things you put away that you’ve forgotten about. Things like wonder, and curiosity and possibility. Potential and pink clouds. Take these things out and smooth away their wrinkles. Maybe use a lint roller to remove the dust. Feel and embrace and re-acquaint yourself with these treasures. And set them free so that they will return often, now that you are open-hearted and present for this life.

This suitcase may seem like it will never empty, or may feel like you’ve opened Pandora’s Box. Be patient with yourself and the process of unpacking. Take things out one at a time, assess its usefulness in your life, and discard it, set it free or learn how to wear it. Some things will always be with you, but you can learn how to handle them with care and humility.

This journey of unpacking may in fact be ongoing and continuous; but you will find that your baggage will be so much more manageable when you take things out and expose them to the light of day. Where you aren’t afraid to see them and accept their existence: the good, the bad and the ugly.

And, if you are diligent with this process, you may find you can downsize to a carry-on, and now longer have to lug you luggage.

Wishing you lighter loads…