What Does Intentional Living Look Like?

This is the third in a three-part series in my exploration of intentional living. I began with Setting the Intent to be Intentional, and then posted on Roadblocks to Intentional Living. This third post will explore what it looks like to be intentional in our daily lives.

This idea living intentionally, slowing down and finding meaning has been floating around in my mind lately. Maybe it’s the monotony of living in COVID-land. Maybe it’s the next step in my sober evolution. For so long, I couldn’t set an intention to save my life… Now, I trust myself to get up, show up, and add to the mission of significance. Sounds like a worthy pursuit to me.

Where to start…

The idea of being intentional about every aspect of our day can feel overwhelming. I have always had a love-hate relationship with schedules and to-do lists. When I get really busy and start forgetting things, I swear by the schedule. But I’ve never been the type to be super organized and structured.

So, true to form (for me), I’ve come up with a more organic approach to intentional living. I’ve been experimenting, and taking mental notes about what is working and what is not. And doing more of what is, and less of what isn’t.

In my first post, I went through the process of clarifying my priorities, passion and purpose so that I can easily identify where I should be spending my time, energy and talents. Always looking for silver linings, life over the past six-plus months has also helped me carve out what is a must-do, and what can fall away.

News watching, for example, a must-go. The sheer volume of terrible, fear-mongering, contradictory, agenda-filled, negative, overwhelming, hate-fueled drivel that media outlets try to pass off as news these days not on the agenda for me. Neither are political debates. I choose how I spend my time.

Pandemic life also helped me see that social events are nice options, when available, but not necessary to live a peaceful and contented life. You may feel differently. But spending lots of time at home has taught me that I enjoy baking with my kids, birdwatching, yoga, gardening, and walks with my dog. All things I did only once in awhile before because I was too busy keeping up with Life.

So peeling back some of the busyness of life and getting to the heart of what is necessary and what will contribute to the mission of significance has been an outcome of this season of life and of my own evolution.

A “typical” day

To get back to what it looks like in a typical day, I can’t tell you. Well, I can tell you what I do. What has been working for me. But you will have to go on your own soul-searching journey of what matters to you and what will fit into your daily life.

Remember, we all have different responsibilities and “have-to’s”. The art of living intentionally is shifting our perspective on those things that we have to do and continuously complain about. How can we look at the “have-to’s” as opportunities to excel or serve others? And, what else can we include in our day to balance out the “have-to’s” with meaning and enjoyment?

So I have a schedule that I write out each week and I keep a revised version in my head because I’m not going to put extra pressure on myself by trying to rigidly keep to a schedule. My friend Barb came up with the idea of a reverse To-Do list, where she writes down things she has accomplished instead of things she “has” to do. I love this. It’s all about perspective.

Mornings…

On paper, my day always starts with my morning quiet time. This includes reading a devotional and a passage of scripture and journaling about it. I end my quiet time in prayer and contemplation. This sets the tone for the day, every day. If I don’t do this, my day is noticeably thrown off course. And this is one thing that I hardly ever have to revise in my mind. Whatever you do to set the tone for your day, protect it. It’s so worth getting up for.

Work…

My work week includes, well, work. But again, I try not to view it as work, but an opportunity to make a meaningful difference in someone’s life. I’m fortunate because my work with teen parents gives me ample opportunities to guide, mentor and support others. That’s not to say it’s not difficult, discouraging, overwhelming, frustrating and seemingly thankless, at times.

But when those feelings visit me, I always try to take a broader view and look at the big picture, the mission of significance. And it always seems like, just when I’m at the end of my rope, I get a text from a student saying how much they appreciate me, or get to video-chat with a mom and her sweet chubby-faced infant and my faith in the world is restored.

Taking care…

Another lesson sobriety has taught me is that I have to take care of myself if I am going to be able to take care of others and be the best version of me that I can. So, I am intentional about tending to my physical, spiritual, and mental health.

I make time to eat three meals a day, preferably home-cooked and healthy, and not while scrolling on my phone. Mindful eating prevents mindless overeating. I exercise six days a week and give myself a day off. I’m currently alternating between yoga and cardio, three days each. This prevents me from getting bored, helps with strength and flexibility, and keeps my heart in shape. I take supplements because of the years I deprived myself of a healthy diet (a quality multi-vitamin, Omega-3 fatty acids, calcium with vitamin D and probiotics).

I make it a point to read something that contributes to my personal growth and development. This could be a selection from the “quit lit” genre or other self-help books, or a scientific book on the behavior of birds. And, because I’m an English major, I always also have a literary or historical fiction novel going at the same time.

And I write. Whenever I can, I write. I write because it lifts my spirits and gives me the chance to connect with others. It is therapeutic and rewarding. It contributes to the mission of significance.

Family time…

The other essential ingredient in my recipe of intentional living is spending time with my family. Lets be real. It’s not always quality time. Sometimes it’s helping with schoolwork, or driving to practice, or taking care of their every need. But if we are present and there for them, we are building experiences and memories that are essential to relationships. So try to look at the messy and mundane as something to collect and store away for when they are gone, and inevitably missed.

There are also the intentional plans we make, the outings and trips that we get to spend and share together. Hold onto those especially, they are priceless. We always try to do something fun together on Sundays. Now, it has become something we look forward to and are intentional about doing. These are the moments we will remember.

It’s your life…

So the mission of significance, should you choose to accept it, looks different for each of us. I’ve shared with you what my days look like, not to try to model what yours should be. But to give you an idea of how one person’s idea of intentional living is playing out in real life. It’s not about adding a lot of to-do’s to your day. It’s about identifying and protecting what is meaningful to you and letting go of the rest. Stepping off the hamster wheel. Slowing down…looking around…and claiming your place in this haphazard world. It’s about choosing what you want your life and legacy to be, and aligning the tasks in your day to create it.

And if you completely abandon intention from time to time, instead choosing to stay in bed, eat cupcakes and binge on Netflix shows, that’s okay too. The point is to be kind to yourself.

And there’s always tomorrow.

I hope you enjoyed my exploration into living with intention. I know it will be a theme in my posts as I “intend” to incorporate it into my wellness journey. I’d love to hear in your comments how you feel about intentional living and whether it’s something you are interested in cultivating as well.