Setting the Intent to be Intentional

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the word intention, and more specifically the concept of intentional living. My friend and fellow blogger, Barb, has written about it, most recently here, and I believe she is a great example of living with intention. Not only intention but attention, as she often writes about unique and beautiful items she finds for her home that reflect who she is, or where she’s going. It’s the little things, she often says.

I love that. I love the idea of carefully curating an environment that truly reflects who you are and what you want your life to look like.

Getting there…

I think that people who have struggled with addiction or have addicted family members are in a unique position to truly appreciate intentional living, once they’ve reached the other side.

During active addiction, the idea of intentions, or being intentional is ludicrous, for the simple fact that when we are caught up in a drug we can not trust ourselves. We are using every scrap of will and discipline we can muster just to hold it together enough to perform basic life functions. Any of those higher-levels of Maslow’s triangle way out of reach. If I took a shower, made it to work and put dinner on the table, I thought I deserved a gold star. Basic level of survival, folks.

Since I quit drinking, the first year was spent poking my head out into the sun, taking care of myself and those in close proximity, and quietly licking my wounds. I spent year one being grateful that I was no longer where I used to be, and baby-stepping my way into what I thought a healthy life should be.

But there are those words again, “used to be” and “should be.” One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned in sobriety is not to be caught up in someone else’s (society’s) definition of who I should be and what I should be doing.

Owning it

Put simply: it’s my life. Now that I’ve freed myself from the weeds and traveled far enough down the path to look around and see what’s out there, I feel the need to be myself, and live my life.

To me, intentional living is a continuous process. It starts with some soul-searching, and an inventory of your values and beliefs. In order to do something with intention, you have to know what it is you want to do. This doesn’t have to be some clearly defined master plan, but you should take time to clarify your priorities, your purpose and your passion. (And it’s ok if things change or evolve over the years. In fact, I’m fairly certain they will).

Priorities

For me, my priorities are to take care of the three parts of myself (mind, body and soul) so that I never again fall into the weeds. If I don’t have my sobriety, any type of planning is pointless. My family is also my priority. To care for, appreciate and love the heck out of them in every minute I’m given is a must. My faith is a definite priority, as it enables me to be a healthy individual and leads me down the path of love and light.

Passion and purpose

I am passionate about encouraging and helping others. This passion enables me to carry out my purpose. My writing allows me to express myself creatively, and also connect with and encourage people who struggle. And not just with drinking and sobriety, but with being a human being on this planet. My teaching career allows me to educate teenagers, but it’s not just about the academics (it never is, is it?). More importantly, it allows me to love, teach and guide young women who have wandered off track. The graduation rate for teenage parents in California is 36%. My purpose is to change that.

What’s next

Now that I feel I’ve clarified what matters, I can focus on how to get there. Where is “there,” you ask? “There” is a place of living with intention. Once you know what’s important, you can begin to let go of what is not significant, or doesn’t contribute to your journey.

What thoughts, feelings, things or actions get in the way of cultivating an intentional life?

This is what I will discuss next time…