Today is my birthday….I’m celebrating the midpoint between 40 and 50. Celebrating Independence Day, and my personal freedom from alcohol.
I’m with my family at Mammoth Lakes, also where I celebrated my 40th Birthday. That birthday trip was filled with booze and its sidekick, regret.
At 15 months sober, I still have a lot of boozy associations with places, seasons, songs and memories.
For instance, five years ago we hiked to Rainbow Falls, a five mile fairly difficult trek. The whole trip I was focused on the big beer that I would consume when we got back.
When we hiked it yesterday, I actually took in the majesty of the falls and thrilled at the cool mist on my face… feeling alive and grateful before and after. We reached the finish line at the general store and I had a Diet Coke and M&Ms.
I’m still at the point in my sobriety where I experience lots of firsts. I get to revisit places where I have only patchwork memories and create new sober associations. As these associations accumulate, they will be what I bring with me as my old favorites. Full sensory experiences.
I look forward to a time when I remember fondly the times I spent sober and loving life. Right now, it feels like I bring ghosts with me wherever I go. But I’m also saying goodbye to those ghosts each time I build a new sober association.
And as I look forward to the second half of my life, I say hello to authentic, unfiltered experience. I say hello to living.
Happy Days. What a wonderful birthday celebration. Enjoy it all. And keep laughing with those old ghosts. I have found they drift away in their own time. 🎂
Thank you! 💕
That’s how it works. Happy birthday!
Thank you, Jim!
Happy birthday, Collette! I’m so happy for you. So many things to look forward to! 🥳
Thank you, Leafy. 💕
Happy birthday my friend🤗. Here’s to many new sober memories!
Thank you, Dwight. 💕
Happy Birthday to you lovely lady. You deserve a really happy birthday and may you create awesome sober memories. It’s time the ‘alcohol’ infused ones were finally laid to rest xxx 😘 🎂 💝 🎁💕
Yes indeed. Thank you Claire. Thinking about you! Xx
Thank you! 😊
Bless you. Thanks 😘
Happy Birthday 🎈🎁🎉🎊🎂
Thank you, Janet! 💕
Happy belated birthday Collette! ❤
Happy, HAPPY birthday 🎉🥳
Your trip sounds wonderful and even more so for the clarity and peace that came with it and it appears self-love and forgiveness came along too ❤️❤️
Wishing you many beautiful days to follow❣️❣️🤗🤗
Thank you for your kind, thoughtful words, Teri! 💕
Happy birthday!
Thank you!! 💕
Happy Birthday Collette ! Sober firsts are so wonderful, especially in gorgeous places like these ! Hello to living! <3 xxx Anne
Thank you, Anne! Enjoying every moment! 💕
Sorry it’s late but happy birthday. Those photos are so good to see. Definitely happy ones.
Thank you! I’ve missed your words lately! Hope everything is ok. Trusting you just took a hiatus, which would be well deserved!
You weren’t gone! I’d somehow stopped following you. You must have thought I was crazy…I have some catching up to do! ☺️🤦♀️
Many would say that was a wise thing to do.