Don’t Lose Your Balance

For most of my life, I’ve struggled to achieve balance. I’m always somewhere outside of centered, sometimes far off and sometimes just missing the mark. I can visualize the perfect day, the perfect month, the perfect rhythm, but putting the picture into practice is always elusive. If one area of my life is running smoothly, something else is falling off track.

I used to try to find the middle through drinking. I was too quiet and shy so I would drink to be more social. I was too wound up or stressed out so I would drink to relax. I was too much in the world so I would drink to escape. Sounds logical? It took a long time for me to realize that alcohol would not bring me to the middle, to the sweet spot I was seeking, but would push me over the edge in the opposite direction.

Now that I don’t drink, I seek balance through actions that prompt wellness. The place I am looking for is a combination of taking care of myself and others. Of nourishing instead of overdoing. Of nurturing instead of sacrificing. Of presence instead of auto-pilot. There are several things that throw me off balance, and I will identify them here, in case these are trouble areas for you as well.

Balance Breakers

• Lack of sleep. When I am tired, I am less likely to stick to my routine and more likely to switch on survival mode. The workout gets skipped, the morning quiet time is sacrificed, my creativity is enveloped in brain fog. My day is thrown off course and my habits traded for convenience. Lately, potty-training a puppy has been a huge barrier to my ideal sleep routine.
• Busyness. When I start overcommitting, taking care of myself takes a backseat. I want the people in my life to be happy and taken care of, so I often put their needs first. Lately, I’ve been helping my daughter run a baking business, which takes up a lot of time and puts delicious freshly baked cookies and cupcakes in front of my face. (Double-whammy.)
• Thought-storms. When I start to lose ground on the self-care front, my sabotaging thoughts jump in and try to cause an avalanche. Excuses multiply. Motivation disappears. Then it becomes a week, or two, or a month that I did not make the time to exercise, or read my Bible, or write. That’s when a wobble becomes a fall.

I don’t know that I will ever feel completely balanced or centered, but I know that I’m not happy when I go through life feeling like I’m the verge of tipping. Just like when I’m on my paddleboard and feel like I’m relaxed and in control and a wake comes along, disturbing the calm waters. Sometimes I paddle through it, and sometimes I fall.

I think awareness of these balance breakers is the key to paddling through and regaining control over your day, your week, or your month. There will always be sleeplessness, and busyness and uninvited thoughts. But if you are aware they are occurring, you can do what is within your power to regain balance.

And don’t wait for smooth sailing, for the ideal night’s sleep or a free open day to take care of yourself because it more than likely won’t happen. Don’t wait for an easier day to find your balance. Striving to feel centered when things are busy, or windy or messy is how you develop your skills and hone your craft.

Author James Clear points out that we shouldn’t wait to feel motivated to do something. “Motivation often comes after starting, not before. Action produces momentum.” Momentum on a paddleboard comes with consistency and repeated action; momentum on a paddleboard produces balance. Momentum in our habits makes it less likely that our balance breakers will actually break us.

So do the good things that are good for you. That you’ve made it a habit to do, even when you don’t feel like it. Excuses are the wind and wakes fighting against you. Paddle through and gain momentum. Momentum produces stability. Stability is balance.

I hope you find your balance today.