Fire and Ice Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice. --Robert Frost
Fire and ice. Dancing flames and frozen stillness. Passion and addiction. Which do you prefer?
In my reading of Gabor Maté’s In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, he writes about the differences and similarities between passion and addiction. If we are causal about our language, we use the term addiction to describe a passion. “I’m addicted to this Netflix series,” or “I have an addiction to cycling.” Both describe a behavior marked by intensity and compulsion. Something we think we have to have or do or watch or consume.
But don’t mistake passion for addiction. The vast difference lies in what feelings, behavior and expressions these dopamine-releasing activities produce.
A passion is something that comes from your internal source. A divine fire that emits light and creativity. It is our gift that we give the world, generously, because we believe this contribution will make the world a better place. An expression of our truest selves.
An addiction is an ego-driven response that freezes us in place and makes us small. Our world becomes our self. It steals anything beautiful we have to give to the world until all we can think about is how to devour, like empty, hungry ghosts.
Maté goes on to describe the differences, “Passion is a source of truth and enlightenment, addictive behaviors lead you into darkness. You’re more alive when you are passionate, and you triumph whether or not you attain your goal. But an addiction requires a specific outcome that feeds the ego; without that outcome, the ego feels empty and depressed” (emphasis mine).
We all have natural passions. Things that sweep us up and transport us to a spot where we are wholly content. These are the activities and pursuits we need to nurture and move toward. They let our inner light shine on those around us.
The problem is when we get tangled up in our quest to fill holes. To ease pain. Or to just make it all go away, even for a few minutes. This is where our light dims, and no one can see us, or who we really are. We become frozen in place.
“A consuming passion that you are helpless to resist, no matter what the consequences, is an addiction,” writes Maté. And we all, at some point, are consumed by behaviors to lead us into darkness. Whether the addiction is a substance or an activity, it snakes its way in until it gets a foothold, and by then, the light is extinguished. The energy and creativity, frozen.
Once an addiction runs the show, your true passions no longer seem relevant, or inspiring, or important anymore. They stay locked away inside you, suspended until you, in humility and surrender, decide to melt the darkness and revive the light. Some people never revive their passions because they are frozen solid by addiction. Don’t let this be you.
Each of us arrives here with our own passions waiting to be unearthed and nurtured. Fan the flames of that divine spark that enlivens you. Break free of any ice that holds you fast and frozen and keeps you small. Even if you feel frozen solid and like you’ve been captive forever, there is hope. There is light. The divine spark will be waiting to once again inspire, when you free it from the frozen darkness that slipped in.
Fire and ice. Dancing flames and frozen stillness. Passion and addiction. Which one do you prefer?
For me one thing I’m discovering is it isn’t straightforward to just hope I can substitute my passions for an addiction because an addiction also serves to soothe bad feelings. Following passions can throw up frustrations, or be interrupted by real life problems, and if I still lack the skills to handle my unhappy emotions, I will struggle. Does your book talk about that too? An interesting post. Thanks for sharing this!
Yes, addictions usually take hold in the first place because we are looking to soothe or numb bad feelings. It’s only by doing the mental work of showing up and sitting with those feelings that we begin to break their power over us. I think that once we deal with the addiction, it frees up a lot of time to follow our passions, and spend time doing what we truly love. It does take practice to learn how to handle unhappy emotions. I read another good book called Emotional Agility by Dr. Susan David that might be helpful for you if you are searching for ways to handle your emotions and bad feelings. Sending love and light to you!
I shall check that out. I always love a recommendation!
Brilliant and beautiful!
Thank you my friend. Xx
Always welcome!🙏
Love this! I am a huge fan of poetry. I am lucky enough to have an old copy of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. I love opening it up and reading his thoughts.
When you said “Once an addiction runs the show, your true passions no longer seem relevant, or inspiring, or important anymore.” Is so true. When alcohol was running my show my reading took a backseat. Glad it’s back up front!
It is an exciting process to look around and remember, or discover, the things that bring you joy and start pursuing them. Xx
Wonderful. It’s amazing looking back just how much alcohol diminished the truly wonderful things like reading and living. xxx
Yes, alcohol puts a dimmer switch on life, and it’s very freeing and exciting to let the light in again!
I loved that book!
You reminded me to go back and read my highlights again!
xo
Wendy
It’s a really good book. Packed with information. Xx
So true..”Some people never revive their passions because they are frozen solid by addiction. “. It’s so nice to be out in the warm light after so so long.😊
Yes, I feel like we are happily melting. Xx
Just started reading that book. It’s intense and eye opening. Thanks for turning me on to it.
Yes it’s pretty packed with information. I just finished part 3 and it’s all about the biology of addiction and the brain. Lots to take in! Hope you’re having a good weekend! 💕