This weekend, I went to a new hair stylist for a cut and color, and had lunch with one of my best friends. I haven’t had either of those experiences in about six months. Both gave me a definite mental boost, and connection I didn’t realize I’ve been craving. However it was the lunch that nourished both my body and my soul.
It’s a surreal experience, sitting down with a person who I’ve been blessed to share my life with now for almost twenty years. Recognizing all the history that comes with those years. There is some unnamable comfort that comes with a friend who has seen you at your best and at your worst, and loves you no matter what.
As I shared the news of my son and his college acceptance, we recalled a lunch we had together 18 years ago when I told her that I was pregnant with this same child. Now in a few months he’ll be an adult preparing to leave the nest. Her two sons are each a year behind mine, and we talked about applying to colleges and navigating that process during COVID. About life during COVID. But we’ve been through worse.
Hers was the home I would go to during the evenings when my marriage had just ended. We would shuffle through the door, me, and my three-year-old, now soon-to-be college student. He would be holding his favorite toy to share with his friend, Jack, and I would be carting a baby carrier with his several-months-old brother.
Hers was the table where I drank, and cried and cursed the unfairness of my world while the children tumbled around and watched Baby Einstein, yes sometimes on Repeat Play. When I felt like she was the only voice of reason, and the reason I could pick through the rubble one more day. I won’t even go into Christmas that year, but I will say that if I didn’t have her company for Christmas shopping and baking day I don’t think I would’ve made it.
Hers was the home that hosted celebrations: New Year’s parties (one of where we first met nearly 20 years ago), baby showers, birthday parties and the news of my engagement. Where we gathered with other friends to solve the world’s problems and shake our heads at the craziness of life.
We’ve celebrated births, mourned the loss of family and marriages. We’ve commiserated over gained weight and lost dreams. Watched with captive breath while children grew and hurt and thrived. Showed support as one admitted defeat and walked away from wine nights but moved toward life. Knowing, through it all, that we get it; we get one another. We may not always know why things happen like they do, but we know each other.
So a little distance, can’t and wont keep us apart. I hope you all have a friend like this, one who leaves footprints in your heart.
i love this…i have only one friend i have kept in touch with for that long , but we are several hours away from each other and only connect thru facebook the last several years. However, my roommate of over 3 years now fits so much of what you describe. She has been THE only one who has seen the best and worst of me in a close, hands on situation and has been my rock. I know i would never have made it through without her. Great post!!
Yes, when someone has seen the best and worst of you and still stays by your side, you know you have a keeper! Glad you have someone like that! Xx
This post was deeply moving for me, Collette. Yes, how important to have people with whom you share history. One of my deepest longings when I’m in a “dark night” is to just be alone, yet not alone. Just to be in the company of one who really knows and gets and accepts me. Like God- only with skin on!💜
I love that. Like God, with skin on! And I too like to be alone, but then not alone. I feel you. These special people know that as well. Shared history means a lot. Xx
Such a deeply moving and heartfelt post Collette. Sometimes that person is all we need to lift our spirits and get us back on track xx
Yes, it nourishes the soul, for sure. We need to make more time to be with these people…but maybe that’s why it’s so special when it does happen. Such a lift. Hope you’re doing well, Claire. YOU give me a lift! Xx
I’m doing ok Collette. Feeling much calmer generally and less in a state of ‘blugh’! Heading out with my Dad at 10.30 for a bike ride and I have just realised how lucky I am to be able to do that! Definitely something for my gratitude list today ☺️💕
Loved reading this post! I don’t really have a friend I can go to with anything. I do have my husband. He is always there for me and always will be so I am very thankful for that. He doesn’t quite get what I’m going through but he tries!
It’s funny because I would say my husband is also my best friend. But I think my friend Kelly gets me way better…It’s a man vs. woman thing! Glad we have our hubbies though! Take care!
The power of a true friend❣️🤗❤️
A bouquet of emotions through the years. Joy, sadness, fear, triumph and most importantly vulnerability and trust.
I’m so happy for you that you found each other ❣️😍
Thank you! It is really special. She’s my anchor. Hope you have someone like that too! 💖🥰
I do and it’s such a gift. Happy for you❣️ ❤️🥰
Yes! I have friends like that, too!
xo
Wendy
What a beautiful friendship. You’ve really evoked the closeness and history of it. And wonderful to have a professional cut and colour sometimes! I ended up cutting my own again this time around, but slightly regret it. ;))
Thank you, Nadine. Yes, I hadn’t had my hair done since November so it was a HUGE lift for me. Hope you are doing well! Sending love and light Xx
Must admit most of my friends stayed on Drink Island. A couple of good ones did the same as me and wonderful new ones have replaced them ❤️
Yes, here’s to new friends! 💕