Glimmers: Micro Moments of Goodness

I think we can all agree we could use more goodness in our everyday lives. Whether we are living at frenzied pace, in the middle of a storm, or in a well-worn pattern, the bulk of our time seems to be spent managing rather than mastering. I have so many reasons to be grateful in my life, but I welcome the opportunity to see micro moments of goodness sprinkling down all around me.

 Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in complex trauma, in her 2018 book “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy,” introduced the concept of glimmers as small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm. They are the opposite of triggers, cues that signal potential threat or danger and make us feel antsy or withdrawn. While we know when we are triggered because of our body’s physiological response (release of cortisol and adrenaline that cues fight-or-flight), we may not be as aware of our glimmers because the body’s response is a feeling of calm or content. This leads me to believe that I need to practice my awareness of the glimmers that light up my world.

Although glimmers are different to each individual, there are some common ones that many of us experience. They are sensory and can be triggered by sight, sound, smell, taste or touch. Examples include: a nature walk, inhaling the smells and taking in the sights and sounds around you; wrapping yourself in a soft, lavender-scented blanket; a song that brings back happy memories; the smell or freshly cut grass or freshly baked cookies; petting your favorite animal; an unexpected sight that sparks joy or a sense of connection to the world.

I had, and named one yesterday on my way to a leadership institute, feeling wound-up in traffic and thoughts of the coming day. I was driving on a highway bridge crossing a river when a bald eagle carrying an enormous tree branch flew low over the passing cars, tending to the business of building his or her nest. I felt an immediate sense of connection with this immense and intricate world; and I was ready to tend to the business of my day. This may not have been a glimmer to someone else, say someone who dislikes or is afraid of birds, but for me, it was an amazing micro moment of goodness.

Since our biology prepares us to be on the alert to threat or for potentially dangerous situations, we need to practice the art of noticing and being aware of our glimmers. They aren’t just fun to experience, they arouse the good in us, just as triggers call out the bad. When we notice a glimmer, we can recognize the following going on inside us:

• bring us to an anchored state
• make us feel seen, heard and connected
• move us into a receptive space, open and ready to learn
• evoke feelings of safety, coziness and security
• help release the buildup or cortisol and bring about a feeling of regulation or calmness

Noticing daily glimmers fits into my desire to shift my mindset from negativity (where it likes to drift on its own if I don’t redirect) and feelings of helplessness to a space where I’m focusing the positive and how I choose to respond.

What about you? What sparkles in your life? Do you notice your glimmers? I’d love to hear some of yours…

–Love and light.