This week I stumbled upon a gem of a book that is destined to change my relationship with food. As I scrolled through Facebook the latest diet ad caught my eye. Of course it caught my eye; it was targeted for my gender, age group and current circumstances. Mid-forties women who are struggling with extra belly fat and battling the hormones that come with this stage of life.
Could this pill be the answer to what ails me? I don’t even remember the name of the supplement, but it led me to google reviews of its effectiveness, and this led me to Abby Langer. Langer is a registered dietician and has a blog with a post that debunked the “scientific evidence” provided to prove this supplements effectiveness. She actually has quite a few posts debunking diets or supplements such as: Truvision, NeoraFit, Provitalize, IV Vitamin Lounges, Juice Plus, and Isogenix, to name a few.
Interested, I searched further and found her book with the ambitious title, Good Food: Bad Diet: The Habits You Need to Ditch Diet Culture, Lose Weight, and Fix Your Relationship with Food Forever. Rather than spending hundreds of dollars on supplements that night, I bought a book for $11.99, and it’s worth every penny. Maybe even priceless, which is something the diet industry can not claim with their products. Well, they can claim it, and they do; that doesn’t make it true.
In America alone, we spend $33 billion dollars a year on weight loss products, yet 2/3 of us are considered obese. That should tell us something, but we are so sold on the quick fixes and lofty promises of the diet industry to listen. I too am guilty of stepping onto the diet hamster wheel. Repeating the cycle of restricting, losing, backsliding, and gaining, ever since I started having children, which is now 18 years. The constant dissatisfaction with my appearance, the punishing diets, and the shame of eating certain things is beginning to border on insanity for me.
Langer’s book calls out the diet culture, and the products, practices and thought processes these companies manufacture for profit, and we desperately buy into. We buy into it because we’ve also been sold this ideal that we should all be, not healthy, but thin. The fear and loathing that comes when we realize that in society’s eyes, we are far from ideal, leads to desperation and lots of money spent searching for “the cure.”
She also talks about the language we’ve adopted around food, and that these seemingly harmless phrases can have deep imprints on our ideas of who we are and what we eat. Phrases such as “guilty pleasure,” “sinful,” “cheat day,” “naughty,” and “guilt-free.” “This language hijacks the pleasure associated with food, and eating turns it into an anxiety-ridden moral dilemma,” writes Langer. “Using judgmental and moralistic terms to describe what we eat can create feelings of guilt and shame around food. If we overeat, we’re weak. If we punish ourselves with diets, we’re ‘being good.’ These labels are like little parasites that crawl into our brains and set up shop, subconsciously changing the way we feel about ourselves as people and influencing the choices we make in our food.”
Yes! All of this. Add this wisdom to the fact that restriction of food groups and calories prompts our metabolism to slow and sends the message to store fat, and the instinct humans have to desire what we can’t have. So I am making the decision to swear off diets once and for all. I had already kind of made this decision deep inside myself when facing yet another round of gaining after losing and failing to maintain. Now I am reading words that finally make sense and are describing the way I feel while giving me permission to release all the hype.
I’ve worked too hard in my sobriety on letting go and giving up guilt to chastise myself every time I eat a piece of chocolate. Now, this doesn’t mean I am going to throw caution to the wind and eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Recognizing our true hunger cues, and working through emotional eating are real and must be noticed and dealt with. But I am trading in restricting and starving for high-value eating, recognizing that all food is meant to be enjoyed in the right amounts and frequencies.
This realization has led me back to that ever-elusive ingredient in my life: balance. I’ve tried many things over the course of my life to achieve, and maintain balance. To rest in the sweet-spot of life. I started drinking as a teenager to help bring me out of my introverted shell. Then as an adult to relax me or help me unwind. Searching for something to move me back to the middle. What it did is drive me to the other edge.
And, if left to my own devices, if allowed to cruise on auto-pilot, I start to make unhealthy eating choices. I opt for the fast food lunch and start eating sweets daily. But I see that if I am to maintain and live in a place of health, I need to be intentional about what I eat. It’s ok to have dessert, or eat out at a restaurant; just in the right amounts and frequencies.
So that’s what I will be working out now. How to eat a healthy, balanced diet that includes all food groups and ingredients, just in the right amounts and frequencies. Langer’s book describes the pros and cons of all food groups and drinks, debunks a lot of the popular diet claims that make certain foods evil, and shows us how to bring pleasure back to the experience of eating.
I believe this practice, combined with daily exercise and movement, are the ingredients to healing my relationship with food and living in a place of wellness.
I’m the same, I struggle with balance and if left to my own devices would eat a ton of crap. Im working on ditching the scales and working more on balance. I’ll check out the book
7 years in and I still struggle with food.
I am much closer to who cares. I no longer have 18% body fat, but I can tough my toes and practice yoga.
I occasionally get excited about fasting/dieting etc, but I know none of those things are for me.
I have no scale.
My one consideration is to not eat after dinner. I made this change a couple, of weeks ago and I am sleeping better and my belly Is flatter.
Small, manageable tweaks seems like my path.
Anne
I dont eat after dinner either. Apart from maybe one night a month. I brush my teeth to stop myself from snacking 😂. Glad it’s working for you ♡
Yes that sounds like a great tweak. I’ve started the 30 day yoga series on YouTube (thank YOU for the recommendation on that one) and find if I do it in the evening after dinner, I don’t want to snack, but rather have a cup of tea. Xx
Sounds like you are on the right track. It’s funny when we go through the process of getting sober and all that brings with it, we recognize unhealthy thought processes in other areas of our lives as well. I’m ditching the scale and practicing peace. Xx
I think you’d really like it. I finally felt like someone was speaking my language when it comes to my feelings around food, body image and diet culture. Let me know what you think. Xx
This book sounds right up my ally! I just started this week a new eating plan that seems to fit right into what you are describing! I figured I’d eat more brain foods per say but not decline myself with things like my Saturday night snacks I love with my hubby! I’m still working it all out but I already feel better, could be a mindset but I’ll take it. Will check out that book!
Yes, who better to decide what our body needs than us, right? You should check out the book. I think you’d really like it! Xx
This book sounds great! I’m sick of fads and ‘bad’ foods that suddenly become ‘good’ foods! I want to enjoy what I eat and not feel guilt about it. Xx
It is great! I just had to write a follow up post because I finished the book and found I had more to say! Please check it out! Xx
Will do! Xx
“Using judgmental and moralistic terms to describe what we eat can create feelings of guilt and shame around food.” YES! She said it so well. We don’t use this language to describe office supplies or power tools. I don’t run out and pick up some cheeky compost for my veg seedlings. Keep us updated with your progress and what you learn. So interesting.
Thanks, friend. I finished the book and had to write a follow-up post because I found I had more to say! She really makes a lot of sense in the often crazy world of nutrition/dieting/food. Xx
I agree so much.
It’s absolutely crazy how we have gained weight as a nation due to diets, and fast foods, void of nutritional value, and diet stuff.
Of course we all want to lose weight right now! It takes time, and effort to make good food choices!
xo
Wendy
Yes, Wendy! There is no secret pill or quick fix. But healthy, sensible eating will serve us well. Hugs to you!
Interesting that so many of us have been posting about food related issues this weekend. I’ve realised that when I eat chocolate I’m on autopilot and keep going til it’s gone. I threw out the scales and stopped dieting years ago – I lost weight after babies and have stayed the same size pretty much ever since and other than the choc I eat what I want when I want. Still the chocolate eating is similar to how I drank wine and I suspect has taken up an emotional function as well as making me feel crap. I think nothing after dinner is a good rule to try – I might get the book for my daughter who really struggles with food and body image though thankfully not with alcohol! 💞💞
Yes, recognizing emotional eating, and what triggers it is huge. I would highly recommend this book. I wrote a follow up post when I finished it because I had more thoughts… Hope you are well. Xx
I’m good thanks Collette – getting over whatever was going on – illness or just processing stuff – I’ve got energy again and the sun has shone today! Good luck with the non dieting! Def the way to go! 😀😀
I can’t get the balance right. Just keep swinging. So I so agree ❤️
Oh yes, the balance is the hardest part. I think separating actual hunger from emotional eating, or eating out of boredom or stress is a big component in the search for balance. Hope you are well, friend.
Well done Collette❣️
I’d say you addressed one of “the” most common stressor for the majority of people in the world.
It’s disgusting how people try to capitalize on our frustration and confusion to steer us away from the truth you highlighted which is “GET BACK TO BASICS” as far as food selection and adjust our mindset to more positive self talk and a healthier relation and respect for food.
“Healthy and fit” are key words in our house of two teens!
Since they were toddlers my mantra to them was “everything in moderation”❤️🤗
A genuinely helpful and inspiring call to action Collette. 🥰
We all wrestle with healthy eating in our fast-paced world ❣️❣️❣️
Thank you Teri. Yes, it was a big moment for me to realize that I too was completely caught up in diet culture in that I was trained to think of some foods as good and some as evil. That I needed to restrict entire food groups and feel guilty every time I ate something sweet ( but oh so good). Back to basics it is. We should all learn how to feed ourselves and to enjoy the experience of eating again. Is that I’m not being “told” what to eat and making my own choices, I want them to be healthy! Funny how that works. Trusting yourself and your own body and your own choices…brilliant! Thanks for reading and contributing to the conversation. 💛🌟
😃😂🥰
I love your response Collette❣️
Back to basics is a great option for a number of things ailing our world!
You’re so right! So many diets and people are extreme and don’t encourage cooperation with food.
You sound great and I’m so happy you shared your thoughts. I think it’s SO very positive and what everyone needs to be hearing ❣️❣️❣️
I think this “time around” will be very different because Collette is approaching it very differently ❣️🤗
Taking supplements without practicing physical activities is of no use. The goal of losing weight must always be associated with quality of life.