March Intentions Update: Learning to Play Again

The month of March felt both short and long, containing setbacks and spurts forward, much like the overall journey of life. Some of my intentions for mind, body and spirit fell by the wayside this month, and I’m still unsure whether I will pick them up again. Maybe consistently not doing something is a sign that it doesn’t work in your life, or where you’re headed. Other intentions are strong and thriving, and I even happened upon a new pursuit, or rather an old practice, and I’m learning to play again.

I took piano for about six years as a child and quit because I couldn’t stand the pressure of performing in piano recitals. Yes, I was a pianist who didn’t want my music to be heard after suffering excruciating embarrassment after a rather dreadful rendition of “New York, New York.” Start spreading the news…I’m leaving the piano forever. Or so I thought.

We have a really nice full-size piano keyboard that we inherited from a friend who is a harpist in the San Francisco Symphony. He thought my daughter might take an interest. It’s been sitting in our front room a few years now, until I wandered by it one day and decided to sit down. I looked for an app that would teach me how to play again, and found SimplyPiano, which I am really enjoying.

Taking lessons on an app is markedly different than the lessons of my youth. No more is it a kindly older woman in panty-hose and a polyester floral dress by my side, writing lessons in a spiral ledger and sharing sheet music of her choosing. Now, I open an app on my phone and as I learn and play the indicated notes they change color as I hit each each one, blue for correct and red for wrong. There is music accompanying what I’m playing so that I play at the right tempo. There’s a library of songs tailored to my selected music genres, with each successive level that I master. Technology really is, pretty amazing. (Not that I don’t really appreciate the patience and proficiency of Mrs. Bergren, who, if you’re reading this, is a saint!)

So now I’ve added playing the piano to my weekly practices. The enjoyment I get out of playing feeds both my mind and my spirit. It is another outlet for my creativity…something I am nurturing more and more now that I’m sober and learning who I am.

The other intentions I am sticking with for mind and spirit are reading, writing, and nature photography, any chance I get. Of course my morning routine of prayer and bible study still shapes my mornings. I’m pretty much in the middle of lent and my fasting from sweets. So far I have not caved, but it has been surprisingly difficult, much like an uphill climb. Bittersweet without the sweet. And I find myself fantasizing about Cadbury eggs on Easter.

Overall, this month has felt heavy and hard. I’ve been sick, and really busy. I miss my son, who has not been able to come home from college because it’s volleyball season. The world seems crazy and cruel. Gas prices are painful. And people we hold in high esteem show us they are in fact, broken and prone to anger and violence. Disappointment is plentiful.

And yet, evening passes and morning comes. I see a swan, preening itself with long neck wrapped in feathers and wings unfolding like the petals of a rose. And I remind myself, it’s a wonderful life.