I consider myself an easygoing person, sometimes to a fault. I tend to be a peacemaker, and don’t like conflict. Speaking up, pushing back and going against the flow are necessary for me to grow and thrive. But because this is against my nature, I have to remind myself that the easy way is often not the best way.
As you know if you’ve read this blog lately, the last few years have been full of new physical changes and challenges. I’ve read every book I can on the subject of menopause and joined online communities to try to get my head around what was happening to me. If you’re experiencing the same troubles, I recommend Menopocolypse by Amanda Thebe, The Menopause Manifesto by Dr. Jen Gunter and, if you want to laugh, Midlife Bites by Jen Mann.
However my need for information did not inspire action; despite feeling baffled and frustrated, I did what I naturally do, which is nothing. I accepted the scale creeping steadily up and began shopping for comfy clothes at Costco. I switched to full-time progressive lenses because it took to much effort to put on readers every time I wanted to look at my phone. I complained, a lot, about my inability to lose weight. I became even more introverted and closed off, remaining in my classroom from morning until it was time to go home. Books were my friends. Crumbl was my Friday nights. And napping was the after-work routine.
I can’t point to a definite moment where I decided to push back and not accept what was happening. In my post, A Brighter Shade of Gray, I described a change in mindset, which I continue to embrace. I turned 48 last week and started the day with a 6 am 4-mile run, something I have been doing three times per week since summer began. The other three days I do strength training and 45 minutes on the elliptical. The point is not to say, look what I’m doing here, but look what I can do. Something inside nudged me and said, “don’t go gently into this good night.” I’ve changed what I eat and how I eat and am currently concentrating on fiber and gut health. All of this has led to a weight loss of 18 pounds and 4+ inches, and most importantly, I’m feeling strong and centered.
I will continue to make adjustments and find a way to stay active and healthy as I go back to work in a few weeks. And guess what? I’m returning to school with a new position. I’m leaving teaching and am now an assistant principal. It was a reach for me to step out of the comfort of my classroom and go through the process of applying and interviewing for a new challenge, but I felt the time was right. I needed to be pushed, and I needed to push back.
So I hope that by sharing my journey here that I inspire someone else to challenge their thoughts of acceptance and ease. If what you are settling for is not healthy or helping you, the solution is to try different and take the road less traveled. You will be surprised at what you are capable of when you push yourself out of passivity and into difficult terrain. It is only by embracing the challenging journey that you will remind yourself of who you are and what you can do. Don’t let your mind fool yourself into thinking the familiar is good, when in fact it is almost always the opposite.
Love and light.
This is so good Collette. Extremely inspiring and congratulations on your new position! So happy for you! 🎉
Holy Frickin Wow, Collette! Right on right on!!! I’m all over that concept of “look what I can do”. Yes. Yes. Yes. I read somewhere recently to not quit at roadblocks and to continue to be encouraged and find NEW pathways around them …and here you are! So happy and motivated by you my friend. Congratulations🙌❤️😊🤗💪✨
So awesome to hear from you and also so awesome on all your doing and your new position!! Thanks for the book recommendations! I’m 49 and experiencing many peri-menopausal symptoms. 🙄 On a positive note my goal when I turned 49 was to be in the best physical and mental health of my life when I turn 50! I’m spot on for this goal but this peri-menopausal crap sure makes things harder. But…I’m a fighter! Thanks for putting some spark in my step this morning. For me it’s leg day today! 💪 Again, great to hear from you and all your accomplishments!!
Congratulations on finding what you are capable of and getting it done! Also, congratulations on your new position. You will no doubt be a huge inspiration to the young people you will be working with.
Wow!! Big congratulations!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Yes yes yes !!!
This is so fabulous to read. It’s such a tough time Collette and I have really been struggling with peri menopause (for more years than I realised!) and you are so right, we have to take action and push back. I am making some changes now and your post has inspired me. Interestingly I have dropped some work commitments because I felt I needed a break. Less money but better work/life balance. I have restarted my sober journey and I am out jogging again (not far but it’s a start. I am about to go to yoga and then I’m going to start on weights and strength exercises. I need to turn the tide and take control. Congratulations and thanks so much for sharing ❤️❤️❤️
My friend you are doing amazingly well. Wonderful. You have encouraged me to go for a run right now. It’s going to be a wet T-shirt one as it’s chucking it down. We will get there ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Wonderful…just wonderful 🙂 I will have to have a look at those books. It’s been over 2 years now post menopausal and finally..FINALLY i feel like the worst is over. Weight gain and struggling ..yup. Some of it i’ve learned to accept, but i have very strict boundaries in that sense ( as in, when i hit a certain number i know it’s time to refocus again).I never let myself go over that number- ever!. But mostly i’m just glad the inexplicable emotional roller coaster and hot flashes have pretty much waned. I still have my moments, but they are now circumstantial. You sound like you are doing a great job..hugs and xoxox