What Did You Want to Be?

Nobody plans on becoming a problem drinker; to let a substance take the driver’s seat and lead them down a road many don’t return from.

No child colors a self-portrait of herself drinking her way through life.

No teenager sits in front of a computer screen, composing a college essay and writes, “my future plans including being dependent on a substance to the point that I need it to feel normal, or function.”

No young person wants to let her adult life unfold as a series of weeks, months and years of hazey obligations, wasted time and missed opportunities.

No “grown up” wants to look at photos of weddings, vacations and celebrations and not be able to connect the person in the pictures with the feeling of the experience. Or feel that they’ve approached middle age and still don’t have a true understanding of or connection with their authentic selves.

What did I want to be when I grew up?

And yet, it happens to far too many of us.

Why does it happen? We are wired to look for something to fill the void, meet the need, or numb the pain. Society promotes alcohol as a cure all, when in reality, as William Porter describes in Alcohol Explained, it is a loan shark, extracting far more than it can ever give.

Painfully shy and dread socializing at parties? Have a drink!

Can’t relax? Drink. Stressed? Drink. Have more fun? Drink. Want to look sexy, confident and cool? Drink, drink, drink.

Trouble sleeping? Drink. Had a rough day? Drink. Kids making you crazy? Drink. Celebrate a wedding, birthday or date night? Drink, drink, drink.

Earn a big promotion? Drink. Nervous? Drink. Have a blast on your vacation? Drink. Numb the hurt, loneliness or loss? Drink, drink, drink.

Is it any wonder that so many of us get caught up in the pursuit of this elusive “answer to all our problems,” this “elixir of joy,” this “soothing companion”? Knowing why it happens and having an awareness around the role alcohol plays in modern American life can help us unveil the truth.

And the truth is that 1: It is no surprise that we become addicted to an addictive substance. 2: There is not a single thing in our lives that alcohol will make better. 3: We will never know our true selves, or our true potential, until we break free from this addictive substance.

Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Hell yes.