Your Thoughts Are Not Orders

I’ve spent the most part of this week taking care of a puppy and tapping into the patience reserve that exists to care for the very young and very old. Yes, we added a new member to the household, a 10-week-old Westie, to complement our 4-year-old dog of the same breed.

It may have something to do with the fact my son is leaving for college in a few months. Thoughts prompt behaviors. Even subconscious thoughts prompt behaviors.

I noticed the date today and that I am 27 months sober. As I said in my last post, I am feeling really solid in my commitment, if not always thrilled about the reality of it. But I think sobriety is a process, and that it takes awhile to get to this place. I’m not saying I’m a sober veteran; when you compare 27 months to the number of years I spent drinking, I’ve hardly started.

But there is something about living in the day-in, day-out-world of not drinking that builds a long-term perspective. This perspective is earned by small victories, frequent struggles, and perseverance (kind of like potty-training a puppy). There was a significant amount of time I couldn’t even contemplate this being a life-long commitment. Now, I feel acceptance, a settling in, and I don’t feel that I’m depriving myself, or that the grass is greener on the drinking side.

Now that it’s summer, the drinking posts have ramped up on social media. I see vacation posts depicting a single tropical drink and know that it’s likely the start of an ugly story. If I resent anything, it’s the keeping up of the illusion. The universal celebration of something destructive. Something I only feel now that I cut up my membership to the Alcohol is the Answer Society (aka Western popular culture).

I’ve also noticed a lot of my sober community members (my new membership in good standing) relapsing recently. I am reminded of how those conditioned thought loops and associations can be so sabotaging. It’s summer. I’m poolside or at the beach, and I need a drink in my hand to enjoy myself. I posted this quote from James Clear on my IG account because people, especially newly sober people, need to remember that their own minds are capable of causing great progress or devastating setbacks, depending on which option we choose to follow.

Today, I’m choosing the option to create progress on this wellness journey; I hope you choose that option too.

Love and Light.