April Intentions Update: Action and Avoidance

April, rather than being “the cruelest month,” as T.S. Eliot proclaimed, was a pendulum of action and avoidance. In some areas of my life, I made great progress and growth. In others, I found myself the cork bobbing on the wave of a week, as described in my last post. Sometimes intentions guide the day, pulling me out of bed before my alarm clock, urging me to live out my potential. At other points, my plans and goals seem pointless or just another action to fulfill or put off another day; sailing without wind, burning without fuel.

Mind

The three intentions I set to satisfy and expand my mind are lighting me up these days. On the learning front, I’m enjoying a course on MasterClass by Ron Finley, the self-proclaimed, “gangster gardener.” Born in South Central Los Angeles, a food desert, he observed the gangster mentality and committed his life to his own definition of gangster: planting community gardens and demonstrating how growing your own food gives you freedom and a power than no one can take away. In his intro lesson, he explains: “If you get a child at a very early age and you show them the magic, the alchemy, the amazing wonderous things that mother nature does with a tiny seed…you take a seed and you put it in the ground and you have a forty-foot tree that gives you fruit forever. You want to talk about your rate of return, that’s what we should be investing in.” I love watching people take their passion and give it hands and feet to create good in the world. And I’m inspired to tend my own small plot of earth, and partake in its abundance.

Speaking of abundance, I am rejoicing over that fact that I’ve been gifted with an idea for a new writing project. That hasn’t happened in years. The last one was creating this blog, which I tend to with love. I will say that this new project will take time, consistent imagining and revision, and most of all persistence. With you all as my witness: I will not stop until I find a place to unveil this story. My apologies if I seem overly dramatic here; this idea comes along at a time when I’m feeling parched in my teaching career, and I really need a creative stream to refresh me; God provides.

And abundance also fits my reading habits these days. I fear I’m growing a bit obsessed with reading and my To-Be-Read shelf of Goodreads is growing into a mountain I doubt I will ever summit. As I mentioned in my last word of the month post, reading is filling my need to escape the heaviness of life, but hey, that’s okay. Trading drinking for reading is probably the smartest thing I’ve ever done. I recently finished and recommend The Sentence, by Louise Erdrich, you can read my review here. I’m currently devouring a debut historical fiction novel An Unlasting Home by Mai Al-Nakib, and plan to begin a weekly book review post on this blog soon.

Body

As I wrote in this post, March and most of April were marked by my abstinence from sweets during the period of Lent. This resulted in me being grumpy and desperate in the beginning (yes, I ate two of my daughter’s gummy bear vitamins one evening). It did break the mental habit of something sweet after every meal and resulted in me losing about five pounds. But then Easter hit and, well, I find myself stealing the contents of a blush pink plastic egg more often than I care to admit. I’m still wrestling with myself, trying to eat healthier (more plants). My latest goal is to bring a homemade healthy salad to work each day for lunch. I have also incorporated weights into my previous workout routine of only cardio. I’ve been really sore this first week, so that’s encouraging. I’m sick of being squishy, so I figured if I can’t put down the chocolate, at least I can pick up a dumbbell. My yoga routine is on hiatus, eagerly awaiting a comeback.

Spirit

Yes to morning quite time, photographing nature, and my resurrected love of playing the piano. It’s all happening. The old theme I still struggle with is connection. I am busy enough to participate in my life as a mom, wife, teacher, learner, writer and reader to put off a phone call to a friends I haven’t connected with in far too long. I let spring break come and go without a lunch date or catch-up conversation. I know this is an area where I need to push myself, and I am always blessed by my efforts when I do. As you can see in my photos, April is the kindest month to capture cuteness at the lake. I love witnessing the bonds and nurturing that new life brings. I am saddened by a cluster of feathers or scattered broken eggs. Either way, it is a reassuring reminder that life goes on.

Love and light.