Mind, Body, Spirit

The month of December always feels like a marathon with the day after Christmas being recovery. Husband watching football, daughter playing contentedly with her new array of toys and crafts.

I am feeling the stirrings of not resolutions, but intentions. I’ve spent the last few months coasting and I want to climb back into the land of ascent. I’ve settled into too much screen time, unhealthy eating, and skipping my morning rituals. I want to be back in the place where I am actively challenging and stretching my mind, body and spirit.

My relationship with discipline is a slippery one. I can grasp it for awhile and feel the solid, forward moving tracks beneath me. Then there is an inevitable drift, a slow descent. If I am not actively working to maintain a healthy mind, body and spirit, I slip into the path of least resistance.

That path may in fact be the easy path, and it is my default setting. The one where I hit snooze after staying up too late scrolling through social media or playing a mindless game. The one where I reach for a cookie with my coffee, because, why not? The one where I spend most of my day being reactive rather than proactive. Rush through my morning rather than rising early to meditate, pray and journal. Grab lunch out instead of packing something healthy. Spend any extra time napping or reading the latest suspense thriller rather than working out or reading something to feed my intellect.

It is the easy path, it is the default setting. But it is not a rewarding way to move through life. And it is never the way to reach your full potential. Becoming your best self takes daily work, effort and intention. It requires discipline rather than disorder. And, if you’re doing it right, you will need to continually reassess, redirect and aim higher. My mind, body and spirit are telling me it’s time to correct my course.

For a long time, I let being sober be enough. I quit drinking, and that was/is huge and enough to define me and reshape my life. I lost weight, I changed my lifestyle, I embraced being a sober mom, wife and friend. However when my days stopped being about thinking and reading and writing about sobriety, the “whatever” mentality slipped in and started to take up space. I stopped thinking about what I was no longer doing (drinking) and let filler (brownies, Instagram and Netflix) consume the empty space.

Now that sobriety is no longer a challenge to meet but more like a part of me, I need to reset my goals and redefine what doing well means. Not drinking is no longer a goal, but something I just don’t do, much like running out into moving traffic or wearing a belly shirt. It would be easy to settle into the mediocre life of a middle aged, sober mom with a pudgy middle who spends way too much time being passive. My mind, body and spirit need a new direction.

As luck or a husband who knows me really well would have it, I received some “tools” for Christmas that will help me. The latest Fitbit to build a more consistently active day (just as I was typing this I got the reminder to get up and move). A soda stream to make my own fizzy water for better hydration. A new journal to inspire daily writing. And a digital camera to pursue my interest in nature photography. These are all stepping stones to help me reach a more intentional, rewarding destination.

A place where I am nurturing and improving my mind, body and spirit.