My middle son is going to his first Homecoming dance this weekend. I have so enjoyed witnessing the nervousness of the big ask (complete with a handmade sign and candy), the thoroughness of the wardrobe coordination, and the weightlessness of floating through the week with a big first waiting at the end. My oldest is in his first year at college, going through many of his own initial experiences. First time living away from home, first time rooming with other people. First time participating in college level classes and athletics. My youngest is at the age where firsts are around every corner. The other day we went to the pumpkin patch, this huge venue with rides and food and animals and even ziplining! So yes, she got to zipline for the first time.
I pulled into my school (work) parking lot today and remembered my first time arriving here to interview. Little did I know this would be my regular commute four years later… And then I thought, I need more firsts.
While the human brain is complex and fascinating and endlessly intriguing, it is reliable in the act of remembering firsts. We never know what experience we are living that may turn into a memory years down the line, but there’s a good chance we will remember our firsts. Maybe because it’s something new and the brain is paying attention. Maybe it’s because lots of emotions usually accompany our big firsts. But they have a way of staying etched in our mind and recalled with nostalgia when we least expect it.
My husband and I love to reminisce about the first time we met. It was a chance meeting, friends of friends. But every detail of that night is tucked away and treasured in our memories. I have a series of memories of important firsts in my life: first friend at school, first pet, first day of each new school or job, first time seeing in our new house as a child, first time driving on my own, first time I met my college roommates, first time I looked into my newborn’s face. I could go on, but you get the picture, and are probably picturing some of your own firsts by now…
Maybe it’s my age and stage in life, but I feel like I need some more firsts. The year I quit drinking, my first year sober, was full of firsts. Each event I went to or person I shared my story with was a new experience. The years following the first are proving to be more mundane.
Maybe it’s the fact that we’ve all been locked down and distanced for so long. Or that, at 46, what you do each day is nothing new. But I’ve decided I want to go somewhere new or try something new, and hopefully make some more memories. In fact, I think it’s vital that we as adults in the mid-section of life are intentional about doing something new on a consistent basis. Creating new neural pathways and memories to grow and store away.
There’s nothing like the first time because, well, you’ve never been there or done that before. But the firsts don’t have to stop because you’re a mom in your forties. I think you just need to work a little harder to find them. So I’m going to invite something new into my life. Something I’ve never tried, or somewhere I’ve never gone. But, what or where, I just don’t know.
The topic of something new…of finding more firsts is intriguing to me. Does anyone have any suggestions? Are we all so busy living day-to-day life that we don’t try or make time for firsts? I’d love to hear your thoughts…
I love this idea! I don’t have any suggestions, unfortunately, but now I’ll be thinking about it. Nice to “see” you again and I hope you’re doing well my friend.
It’s fun to at least start thinking about. A new activity or place to visit. We need to keep it fresh, right? Great to hear from you. Have a lovely weekend! 🌟💛
well, my suggestion is to notice the things we do actually do every day. It’s funny you posted this because just recently i have been making note of how many times a day i can say “well, thats a first” or “Yeesh, i’ve never done/seen/heard/felt THAT before”. It’ literally an eye opener. I guess they refer to this as “mindfulness” on some level. That being said, planning first in a day is also something i found quite interesting a few years ago. For example- planning to have something new in my oatmeal ( blueberry syrup, freshly sliced peaches or apples, etc) or taking a different route home and stopping spontaneously for something i might usually pass by. There’s a hundred ways every day to experience something new. It doesn’t have to be huge. Once i even decided to take a shower with my eyes closed the entire time- i was amazed at how well i was able to find my razor, soap, etc- i even shaved my legs that way!…lol
You are so right, Lovie! It can be little things. And all we need to do is change something up to get a new view! 💛🌟
This is an awesome idea and I never thought of doing it myself. I am like you, I have a senior that just went to homecoming and met her first boyfriend, ( they were supposed to have homecoming last year but couldn’t with COVID.) my oldest is in her second year of college and this is her first year attending in person classes with her boyfriend, ( They met just before the summer break. ) and I am about your age. I am 47. This last year we have had a lot of lasts too. Had to put down my 13 year old doggie, just had to put down my 26 year old horse….seems things are changing so much. I think it’s time for more firsts for myself. Thanks for blogging about this. I don’t have any ideas currently but am thinking of some now. 😃
Thanks for reading, friend. Yes I think it is good for us to start thinking about firsts! 🌟💛
I’m with Lovie. We don’t have to venture out on a grand adventure. It’s fun to take what you know to the next level. Like my love for coffee took me to learning the Chemex and pour over method. 🙂
Wonderful. Beautiful. Loving list of “firsts” and may we always be seeking another “first”❣️😉
I so hope and I know you will make the best new memories ❤️