Late Sunday night, my husband walked through our front door for the first time in seven months. My daughter cried, and cried, jumping into his arms. The dog danced circles around him, full of puppy elation. My boys–his stepsons–stood around with the happy aloofness of teenagerhood. And I felt like the missing piece of me fit back into place.
Over the next 24 hours, we experienced a heightened appreciation for the little things. Morning coffee together. Eggs Benedict at our favorite cafe. Catching up on the details of life…noting how much can change in seven months. A walk through the neighborhood with the dog. Watching old movies with our daughter (Short Circuit is so cheesy!). Afternoon naps.
An essential ingredient in appreciation is familiarity and there is comfort in acts and rituals developed through time and intimacy. Re-establishing and re-visiting the places and things we love to do and see.
There is also a lot that has changed, in our world and in who we are as people. The world feels less friendly and predictable. Through my sobriety and role as household manager, I feel more capable and complete.
When he left, I was eight months sober and still feeling my way though many things. Now, at 15 months, I’ve learned that I will always be learning and that insight is strangely comforting. The fact that I’ll never get there helps me enjoy the journey.
Being able to appreciate the familiar and adapt to the other person’s growth and change are essential skills in any successful partnership. I am not the same person I was seven months ago, and I am vastly different than I was 12 years ago, when we met.
Being able to greet him with clear eyes and a clean conscience made me feel proud. Had I been drinking my way through his absence there would be many shameful stories (that I probably wouldn’t share) weighing me down and clouding over the joy of our reunion.
Instead, I looked him in the eyes, acknowledged the struggles, and said with an open heart, that I have done my best.
Having a partner to experience the familiar, mundane, daily life occurrences is warm and comfortable. In his absence, I have sat with loneliness and I do not take companionship for granted. Having someone to grow with is a gift. Like a gardener watering a treasured plant so it will bloom and thrive. The gardener is not the sun, but can help nourish the plant and support its growth.
I think one of the most important things we can do is allow one another to grow into the best versions of ourselves. If we aren’t holding the other person accountable and encouraging him or her to grow in the right direction, the weeds tend to sneak in and take over.
But equally important is the work we do to grow on our own. To leave behind the destructive habits, mindsets and tendencies we’ve picked up along the way. To continually shape, prune, and grow toward the light.
It’s been a cruel winter, and a spring filled with growing pains. But the sun is out again.
So happy for you Collette <3 You guys look wonderful xxx Anne
Thank you, Anne!💕
Oh my goodness’
This made me jump for joy!
xo
Wendy
Thank you, Wendy! Xx
Shine On! So happy for you all😊
Thank you, Dwight! ☺️💕
Yay! 😁
🥰👍🏻
Oh I’m so happy and excited for you all Collette! What a wonderful reunion. Enjoy your days! xxx
Thank you, Janet. It’s a mix of enjoyment and home projects…things need a little TLC around here! 💕
I’m so happy for you! – you look so radiant and soft with love! “I’ve learnt I’ll always be learning and that helps me enjoy the journey” – that’s so powerful. I hope the joy continues for you all 💞💞💞
Thank you, dear! 💕
Just so so so happy for you and your family. Back together again. Enjoy every minute xxx
Thank you, friend! I’m trying not to bombard him with home improvement requests! 🤣💕
Xxx
Grow, baby, grow❣️
Happy Reunion 😊
Couldn’t be happier that you reunited with clear eyes and a clear conscience. That is a proud moment.
Now that is flexing your personal power❤️🤗 Well done!
Thank you, Teri! 💕
That’s what I needed to read this morning- a feel good, heart warming post. Really happy for you all. X
Thank you, Jim! 💕
I can’t stop smiling for you. So happy. I can feel the smiles from here. x
Thank you so much. I thought about you when I posted this… you are an example of strength and courage that I don’t believe many could follow. I so admire your love for your son, and your humorous take on situations that come your way. I know absence is hard… but I think you handle it beautifully. 💕
What a wonderful post, I’m crying with joy for you. <3
Thank you, Julie! It’s so great to have him home! 💕