Wednesday afternoon, my boys came back from their dads. I emerged from my almost-17-year-old’s bedroom to find two towering young men with Nerf guns in my living room. Their fingers moved up to their smiling lips and I registered delight in their eyes. My heart leaped and I let out a small shriek the same Read More
Category: Alcohol Addiction
We Are Stories Still Going
We are wired for stories because we live them. We love hearing others’ stories because they help us make sense of our own. As human beings on this planet, we get to experience all the things: heavy and light, beautiful and difficult, hopeful and uncertain. Our stories are usually a balance of difficult versus easy, Read More
Finding My Voice
I’m not a hand raiser. In school, I often knew answers to questions but chose to recite them silently as someone else spoke them aloud. My teachers reprimanded me for doodling in class, even though I took in every word of their (let’s be honest, long-winded) lectures. Impending oral presentations justified lying awake in bed Read More
Pressing Your Luck
You don’t often recognize it as it’s happening, especially if your judgement is impaired. It’s more likely that you brush it off and move on, especially if it is a result of your own bad choices. A narrow escape. A fortunate outcome. Someone looking out for you… The capacity for denial is deep; the fear Read More
How Sobriety Helps Me Do Hard Things
A thousand miles away…. Seven thousand to be more exact. It’s hard when the one you do life with is so far away for so long a time. So far that when we look to the sky he sees the stars and I see the sun. So far that we can’t meet in our dreams Read More
Recovering Yourself
We’ve all been there before, some more often than others. For me, it was a constant cycle. Moving through the day in a fog, reacting instead of taking action. Willing time to pass so I could be finished with my daily obligations. Doing, saying, and expecting the bare minimum. And finally reaching the point where Read More
The Year I Barely Survived
It’s the time I still have trouble talking about, but feel the need to share. It’s a story of overcoming, and I hope it reaches the right person. I can write about it now, two and a half years later, because I can see the beauty that arose from the ashes. And I can bring Read More
Just One Life
When my life revolved around consuming wine, I spent much of it trying to untangle the knots I’d made the day before. An unraveling of sorts, with no forward progress. Stuck in a loop: Questioning what I had said or done, who I’d hurt or neglected, because drinking time was lost in the cloud. Apologizing Read More
The Thing I Have
When I consider the before and after, I can readily see the depth and dimension that sobriety brings to my life. It opens my ears to listen to God and others around me. Ears to hear the need (not so much to listen to the book my daughter is learning to read but to give Read More