I read a post on Instagram from one of my sober heroines, Carly Benson, that eloquently captured what I know to be true through my own experience. “To quit drinking, you have to change your mind about alcohol and what it means to you.” She goes on to say, “Sustainable sobriety starts in your mind. Read More
Category: Recovery
Practicing Powerlessness
Wednesday afternoon, my boys came back from their dads. I emerged from my almost-17-year-old’s bedroom to find two towering young men with Nerf guns in my living room. Their fingers moved up to their smiling lips and I registered delight in their eyes. My heart leaped and I let out a small shriek the same Read More
I am Full…of the Wrong Things!
Accountability Announcement: I’m starting Whole30 tomorrow. Creator Melissa Hartwig Urban describes it as “a short-term intervention designed to teach people how the foods they are eating impacts them, and ultimately create their own perfect diet.” It’s an elimination diet, not meant to be permanent, but rather a controlled experiment (with you as the guinea pig) Read More
Creating Balance
I studied the confident, serene, upright bodies gliding across the lake and it looked so easy. Now, on my hands and knees and looking anything but graceful, I pushed back onto the flats of my feet and made a wobbly attempt to stand. Splash! The cold water startled every pore on my skin and I Read More
Goodbye to the Season of my Discontent
Why do we always tend to look toward another time, season, life circumstance to find contentment? When I finish school and start my career… When I can quit my job and raise children… When my kids are older and more independent… When we are kid-free and have extra time… When we retire and have the Read More
Presence Over Perfection
I am walking on the beach, comforted by the steady constancy of the waves. Closing my eyes, I feel the warmth of the sun on my eyelids and my face. The wet sand gives way underneath the weight of my feet and collects between my toes. Opening my eyes, I scan the sand and find Read More
We Are Stories Still Going
We are wired for stories because we live them. We love hearing others’ stories because they help us make sense of our own. As human beings on this planet, we get to experience all the things: heavy and light, beautiful and difficult, hopeful and uncertain. Our stories are usually a balance of difficult versus easy, Read More
Finding My Voice
I’m not a hand raiser. In school, I often knew answers to questions but chose to recite them silently as someone else spoke them aloud. My teachers reprimanded me for doodling in class, even though I took in every word of their (let’s be honest, long-winded) lectures. Impending oral presentations justified lying awake in bed Read More
Pressing Your Luck
You don’t often recognize it as it’s happening, especially if your judgement is impaired. It’s more likely that you brush it off and move on, especially if it is a result of your own bad choices. A narrow escape. A fortunate outcome. Someone looking out for you… The capacity for denial is deep; the fear Read More
How Sobriety Helps Me Do Hard Things
A thousand miles away…. Seven thousand to be more exact. It’s hard when the one you do life with is so far away for so long a time. So far that when we look to the sky he sees the stars and I see the sun. So far that we can’t meet in our dreams Read More