I used to use to be someone else. To be outgoing, clever, confident. Where was my self esteem? I found it in a bottle. I used to use to be bold, wild, carefree. Instead of quiet, cautious and full of worry. The life of the party. Promiscuous. I used to use to be creative, and Read More
Category: Alcohol Dependence
Quitting
In March 2016, I earnestly decided to quit drinking for the first time. I read Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol and it completely changed the way I viewed alcohol and the role it played in my life. I felt like I had been duped for the last 25 years: by society, by the Read More
A Small, Good Thing
When I think back to where I was this time a year ago, I am overwhelmed with gratitude at how far I’ve come, and awash in hope for the journey that continues. Last year, the pause between Christmas and the new year–the space that doesn’t serve much of a purpose except to catch your breath Read More
The Gift
It is amazing how cutting one thing out of your life–alcohol–can change it completely. And if you’re caught up in drinking, a changed life is a blessing. It’s not only changed in the sense that it’s different. Much of how you experience your life sober is the exact opposite of what you are used to. Read More
Choosing Grace
“Grace means that all your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.” Brene Brown In America, the idea of making a mistake is frowned upon. We are a society that celebrates the strong, beautiful and perfect. Winning is the object of this game we call life, and shame on you if you can’t Read More
Don’t Control…Create!
This is the time of year where, as I like to put it, “something’s got to give.” With the busy-ness of the holidays, calorie-dense food and drink everywhere I look, the cold and dark creating an unfriendly environment for exercising, a variety of illnesses infecting my household, and this year my husband being away, I Read More
It’s Your Choice
The Bad News The bad news is that we underestimate the power of our own choices and our role in creating our lives. We make hundreds of choices a day: many small, some more significant and others habitual, which we don’t give any thought to at all. When choices become habits, just “something we do,” Read More
Tahoe Blue
Lake Tahoe was the perfect place to spend time with my husband before he leaves on a four-month work trip. The lake is so tied to memory for me that visiting it is like coming home to see an old friend. Driving down into the mouth of the valley is like getting a warm hug, Read More
Know Thyself
In order to love yourself, you must first know who YOU are. Just as it is impossible to love a stranger, you need to spend time getting to know yourself. This includes a lot of self-reflection and awareness, or noticing, what you respond to and why. Whatever makes your soul happy…do more of that. One Read More
Becoming
About two months into my sobriety journey, I came across the following quote from one of my heroes, Brene Brown: “Are you the adult you want your child to become?” Ouch. I immediately winced, the pain, shame and regret from drinking for the entirety of my three children’s lives still haunting my every waking moment. Read More