I’ve been telling myself that my pen has gone dry. My keyboard’s gone mute. But, truthfully, I haven’t sat down to write with any intentionality.
True, no new inspiring thoughts have scampered across my brain as they do when I’m fully functioning, but I did want to check in with my community and share a few notes of interest from the homefront.
More Homecoming Delays
Last Saturday was grim. I got the news that my husband’s orders were officially being extended…until? Oh, they can’t give us an end date. Even prisoners are given a sentence. So there’s that.
Easter Bunnies and Soap Bubbles
Easter was all about putting on a happy face for my daughter, who still thrills in hunting eggs (and thank you to my older sons who played Easter Bunny for me so she could wake up to a hunt). I gave myself a pass on online church, and by mid-day the call of my bed was too loud to ignore, so I gave myself permission to decompress, swiping a Cadbury egg out of an Easter basket on my way there.
I dozed off and awoke to sounds of springs stretching and voices shrieking with laughter from the backyard. My ingenious kids had decided to turn the trampoline into a wet sea of soapy foam. They kept trying to get up and falling before they could get any traction. “At least they’ll be clean.” I thought.
Healing Nature
On Tuesday I met my mom at a nearby man-made lake with a walking path and we walked with my daughter for over an hour. It’s nesting season and we marveled at the huge intricate nests of reeds and sticks the swans made.
The promise of new life nestled on the banks of the lake and the bright sunny weather sparked my fondness for nature. How, all around us in the natural world, plants and animals are doing what they do. How life goes on, even if we humans aren’t front and center, trying to act like we control the world.
Thoughts NOT Getting the Best of Me
This week has been the most difficult so far, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t experienced the self-sabotaging thoughts of drinking to temporarily escape the pain. But the reality is that drinking brings with it added pain, after the temporary numbness wears off. And I’m grateful that I don’t have to deal with the added pain of disappointment, regret, and other broken pieces when I wake up each morning.
Rekindling Trust
Along with my stubborn attitude toward writing lately has been a perceived distance in my spiritual life. I have been half-hearted in my morning prayer and meditation time. Making the argument, convincing myself, that I don’t feel or sense God’s presence in my life.
Today, I was inspired to try something new from a book I’m reading called, Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home, by Richard J. Foster. He writes about Breath Prayer, which I am familiar with. But he described a technique for coming up with your own breath prayer that you can call to mind throughout the day. I followed the technique and, to my comfort and joy, it worked and has helped me tremendously today. My breath prayer is a simple, one-line request to God, “Father God, help me to trust your plan.”
When I say it, it refocuses my thoughts and reminds me, as often as I need reminding, that even when things don’t make sense, there is a greater force at work, and I need to trust in his character.
Wishing all of you the strength to trust, even in the darkness. It’s the only way we’ll make it to the light.
Hi Collette! First off thanks for sharing an image of you and hubby, and the swan! Sorry to hear about this delay though. I think waiting is the hardest task we have to do sometimes. Also I love the breath prayer idea. I promised myself not to buy a book until I finished one lol, but this might be worth it. I did have a brief one I started saying awhile back, a verse… teach me to do your will Lord, for you are my God! And the brevity helps. Anyway I think I’m off to look at that book haha. Stay strong woman! Xo 😘❤❤
Thanks, Janet. Yes, waiting is incredibly hard…especially when you don’t have a date to look forward to. I’ve enjoyed his book so far. He goes through a different type of prayer each chapter, so I’ve been reading a chapter a day. The breath prayer was from the chapter on Continuous Prayer. The one I really loved was the Prayer of Relinquishment… I need to do more of that!!! 👍🏻😘
Ha for sure! We all do maybe. I’m horrible at praying. I get tongue tied and my mind wanders, and I yawn way too much. It’s so weird. I yawn on the telephone too though. I think it’s a part of introversion. Anyway, Thank you… now I really want that book. 🙂
Prayer is definitely a practice, not an art, for most of us. Ah, the introversion…I frequently get sweaty armpits when I have to be social! 😣
I love seeing you and your husband!
I still hunt for my Easter basket! Lol
I use mantras to help me, much like your breath prayer.
xo
Wendy
Thanks, Wendy. Yes, I was going to use the word mantra to describe it. I think they are much the same thing. Take care! 💕
Collette my lovely friend, i am thinking of you and hoping that you are given a date for your husband’s return very soon. Remember that you can do this and it will pass. If you need to go to bed with a chocolate egg for company then do it. Now is not the time to take away all our treats and soothing strategies, BUT DON’T turn to alcohol. That path will only lead to more pain and stress. Well done for resisting so far and reach out if you need to.
clairei47@protonmail.com
Always happy for a chat about not much!
Sending love – Claire xx
Thanks so much, friend. Yes we will get through this, day by day, and with chocolate. Glad I have people like you to get through it with!😘
Ditto xx
Hi Collette: ❤️❤️❤️ such a nice photo of you and your husband. I really hope you get good news soon. Thinking of you. Hugs!
Thank you, dear one. I hope so too. Trusting….
Hugs to you! Xo
Hang in there my friend. Even though you are apart right now that love between the two of you surrounds you both. Sending big hugs🤗
Thanks so much, Dwight. I hope you are well. Sending love and strength to you. 💕
feeling similar and i hope the light makes its way in through the cracks…times like these have amazing potential to teach us about ourselves, our buried feelings and also about others. I try to look for hope each day , no matter how small it may seem. Today, i got up earlier than i have been, and spent time dreaming and researching stuff i’d like to do in the house when the lockdown lifts-even though right now its just window shopping:)
Thanks for checking in. Good to hear from you. Window shopping is always a good distraction 😘
well, its just online window shopping but, better than nothing i guess..lol
Just checking in. You’ve been quiet lately. I’m still in your corner and hope everything is going OK at the homefront!
Hi Janet. Thanks for checking in. I’m finding that I don’t have much worthwhile to say, so I’ve been quiet. Hoping to have a stroke of inspiration or motivation or even an observation to share soon! 💕
I hear ya. Feel the same sometimes.
What an intimate and inspiring post. Affirming with you that we can all trust God’s plan for us. Blessings for more joyful sounds and observations in the coming weeks.
Thank you, Julie!